Well hello my minions, my favorite peeps in blog land...   How are you this cold, gloomy morning?

ME?   I'm fanfuckingtastic, if I must say so myself.   Yes, I am being sarcastic.   I am SO angry that I have to vent, and I know you folks are willing to let me.

It is my son Alex's birthday today, he turns 21.   It was just yesterday I held my lil preemie in my arms and cried with joy.   Now, today he is a man.

What I am angry about concerns...   OH?   Yep, you guessed it!   Diane. When she was still here in January, she went out one day and bought her X a birthday card, wrote in it and mailed it off while I was at work.   I was livid after all the behaviors she had displayed, and I wondered why she needed to do that behind my back, but then again so much of the shit was done behind my back anyways..   So Friday was Christophe's birthday, and today is Alex's.   Do you think she sent either one of our boys a card?   She raised them with me for 12 years.   They were close.   I just can't wrap my mind around this.   She still manages to hurt me in yet another way.   I know it hurts the boys as well.

Another thing that grinds my gears, as Peter Griffin would say... is work.   I am struggling at the moment to learn a new program, we all are..   However we usually have 3 RN's on evenings, and there are a few who have been trying to "practice" the new computer programs, which is fine, we all need to.   However, the other two whom I worked with all these past 4 days have been getting to know the program, and I am left with many of the calls to do whilst they "play."   I do not like being taken advantage of, and I absolutely hate unfairness.   If I say something, I'm afraid it may start tension, and I've been down that road before, several times.   There's nothing that can be done once you make waves, because nurse's eat their own.   You better be up to snuff in healthcare, and do your share of your responsibilities or a few can make the work place a miserable place to be.   I do not want or need to put myself in that kind of situation.   Any advice would be appreciated.

Yet one more thing that I am pissed off about is my sister who lives here.   As you know, we are not speaking, yet she will take one of my sons out to lunch (which she has never done before all this palaver) and interrogate him about what is currently going on with Jo and I.   OH no SHE didn't....   He is uncomfortable telling her  anything, yet doesn't want to hurt her feelings.   She also hasn't even acknowledged their birthdays either.   I guess she is getting even because she fucked up my niece's birthday on Easter and I ended up not going because I stood up for my kids to her.   That's illegal in these here parts, don'tcha know.   Alex is leaving on Friday to spend 2 weeks for his vaycay in North Carolina with Jo.   She has all kinds of fun stuffs planned for them, and his cousins do to.   Of course there's the beach too, just 10 mins from their home.   My sister who lives here couldn't get over that Alex was going to see his aunt.   She (when we were still talking) kept saying to Jo and I how "weird" it was for him to go on this trip.   She continued making ugly comments to both Jo and I about Alex being "Jo's new BFF".   SO high school, I couldn't believe the words that were coming outta her oral cavity..   It might as well have come out of her arse because it was all shit.   And all of this began because my kids, all 4 of them, don't keep in touch with her, in her opinion, or call her on a regular basis.   The thing is, they do go over, when ever she needs muscle work or help..   Neither do her kids, call me, but if I need their help they are there.   All of them are great kids, I don't understand her need to compare them to each other.   We always see everyone at family events, or when we had the pool in the other house, they'd come over several times a week.   Diane and I enjoyed cooking out dawgies or whatever we had.. and fed them.   Oh, I must also mention, they felt comfortable just stopping by, cuz if we were home, they were welcomed.   My kids need permission and must be formally invited to go to her home, let alone eat there.   It's always been such a huge palaver to be invited there, as if she were the fucking Queen of England herself.   And she makes it be that way because she holds herself superior to the rest of us.  

Ok, time to move on, we've been on my sister long enough... Time to unboard...  

But I could tell you stories of over the years... 

The last thing I am fucking livid about is the parking here at my beautiful new lil love shack..   I was informed prior to moving in, there would be some handicrapped parking spots here, one being for me, because I have been having worsening symptoms of Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, and Back problems.    Sometimes I must use my cane or the scooty chairs at the stores, depending on my pain level.   [ Which whilst we are on the subject, gags me to do so.   Ya never know who has shat themselves on the seat I must now sit on, or picked their noses and wiped them on the handles, or have butt crack sweat that soaks into the fake leather seats...   So I always wipe them down good for those reasons, however, the bastards don't always have the wipes to do so, just sayin'. ]   

So, back at the ranch...   I was saying that I even have a handicrapped sticker to allow me to park close, from my Dr.   Needless to say, it hurts to do stairs, so I need to park and bark out back, where there aren't any.   I moved in here Feb. 1st.   I called them today to remind them I am still waiting, with tapping foot, nails on the desk, repeatedly clearing me throat etc. etc. etc.   I was informed they cannot place any handicrapped  signs in any spots, that I would need to contact the city.   WHAAAAAAAAT, I said...   WTF?   I just don't have the energy to fight the city for what should be a fair accommodation for me and others like me.   After all, I am a gay.  I guess they don't care.  It takes all my gumption now just to do my daily routines and go to work.   There is nothing left in me to take on one more thing. 

I saw the cardiologist Friday, and have been symptomatic with chest pain and shortness of breath on exertion.   Eating Nitro like they were nerds.   He wants me to have another heart cath, and depending on what they see, as I have 2 stents in place already from my loverly 2 years of medical breakdowns when I wasn't working.   [I'm sure you all remember that?]   Anyway, accordianly to what the results show, I may have to undergo bypass surgery.   Yep I may need a cabbage.   I don't know why they don't refer to it as a carrot, or a rhubarb, or even a polish snausage...   Makes more sense to stick those shaped foods in your heart to open up those arteries, doesn't it?  

I will keep you posted.   I'm all worried now that if I have the surgery, it will forever ruin my beautiful cleavage, which you remember, eh? 

Remember these beauties?   So, try to picture if you must at my bust, an incision of open wound baring my riblets, the corn cobs, and even the corn muffins, right down the middle, splitting me in half like I was a watermelon or something.  It askeeeers me.  

Gross!!!!   Ewwww.  It looks like someone pasted a toupee between me breasticles...   Or maybe butt crack hair.    GAGS.   I will forever more be deformed, scarred, and the girls will never be the same again.   They wont be able to go out public and hold their lil heads up high.   They will be referred to as  "the cleavage that hid the Germans.."   or  "one potato, two potato, three potato, whore."   It's gonna hurt their lil feelings..    

C'est la vie,  That's life I guess.   Ya gotta roll with the punches, or in my case deface the virgin property of such voluptuousness.    Hey, maybe someone will paint graffiti on them as I sleep and create a pretty mirage. 

Yep.   Life as the girls once knew it, will be over.   The poor lil fuckers...   Who's gonna wanna nuzzle on these bad boys and do "motorboat" if I have to have the surgery?  

God only knows... 

Thanks for listening.   I feel relieved now and didn't even need to use me lil friend.   [Ya know, the one with a battery)...   (ssshhh).

I am spent. Time for bed.

C