it's late, I can't sleep but I am SO tired. my mind just wont shut down. unpacked some more boxes today with my sister Jo who is staying with me. my new pad is starting to come together. Jo put a roast in the oven as we had a blizzard all day, and listened to music whilst we decorated. one of my sons Alex came over to eat a late dinner with us, and then the 3 of us watched a movie.
my family is trying to keep me busy and I find it so hard to go through the motions of pretending I am going along with it... because my heart has not been in anything I have done since Diane left. I have been attempting to throw myself into my work, although I have to take more breaks to let my emotions out in the bathroom. it relieves the ache if only temporarily, which enables me to get through my shift.
I'm going to get in my warm, comfy bed now and look at the snow out the windows, hopefully I will eventually be able to fall asleep.
...I really miss my girls, SO much...
please God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can... and the wisdom to know the difference.
losing the two of them is proving to be the most painful thing I have ever felt in my life...