a P.S. to the prior post… as a result of the comment chichi left… cheech, you have a great point I had forgotten about those statements.. and now I remember a deeply profound one that went right to my heart… one of the guys who’d been molested stood up and said “you can’t forgive until you stop wishing for your past to not have happened”. so I know I have a long way to go to forgiveness but I’m on the right track. both Diane and I were both moved by his words. thanks everyone for your comments.