lo and behold it is snowing here in Omaha, tonight. started off as rain but I think we are accumulating 1-2 inches so far. we are under a winter storm watch until later Saturday afternoon. Christophe came over early this afternoon to have dinner with us. I made spaghetti sauce that simmered all day. it was yummy. then we watched “date night” and it was pretty funny with a good point to it.
Diane is on the couch watching the NAT-GEO channel about sperm whales and squids… I do enjoy a good documentary but tonight I’m just not feeling it.
on Oprah today her show was about men who were molested as little boys and how it has destroyed their lives with the after effects. I had tears in my eyes for these men as I am familiar with the after effects, but one thing I never thought about before was something the therapist said on her show.. “just because a boy responds to the physical feelings he may have while being molested, it doesn’t mean he wants it to happen, it doesn’t mean he is gay, and it isn't sex they were having.. he is being perpetrated, raped, and violated… it has nothing whatsoever to do with having sex”.
these boys had grown up blaming themselves rather than the bastards who did it to them, as I did. the therapist also stated that having been molested did not make you gay. you are born to be the sexual orientation you are, it isn't a consequence of molestation.
this helped me because I have always questioned myself as I was married to David then seemed to have “switched over” to the other side after our divorce.. so a part of me always wondered if it was due to my past and my mistrust of men… but now I see that this is really who I am and I had been hiding all those years out of shame.
well I don’t want to write another “deep” post so I will leave it at that.. but it just goes to prove to me that I should always be open to learning more about myself and peeling back yet another layer so I can heal.
here’s to all the survivors out there.. 
we are NOT damaged goods, we were victims and we can take our power back!
C
6 comments:
Despite the fact that I can NOT stand Oprah, I did watch last night, and last Friday (part 1). I zeroed in on exactly the same thing that therapist said. I'm so glad he put it out there. I thought something else he said was really interesting - remember when he said that the little boys who ARE gay, and are abused by men, then feel like their molester somehow KNOWS that, and that's why he targeted them? How horrible and sad. What a way to fuck with a kid's head!
Both episodes were very moving. I'm glad the one guy got up at the end and talked about the myth that boys who are molested grow up to be child molesters. And, I'm glad the therapist confirmed that is only a myth. But, they both said that sometimes that prevents boys who are abused from ever talking about it, or telling, because they don't want people to think they are going to be abusers, too. So heartbreaking.
I only saw a little bit of the show and found it very sad and difficult to watch. The more information people have, the more that people open up, the less power to the abuser. Knowledge is power. :-)
Leave it to Oprah to teach us something about ourselves. I really do like her. (Sorry Chi)
Love your motto at the bottom C. You are a survivor, and a teacher too.
xoxox
Suz
oh, keep that white fluffy stuff up there, ok?
I got so wrapped up in my other comment, I totally forgot to call you a bitch for getting snow BEFORE me!!! So, BITCH!!! There, I feel better.
Such heavy, painful stuff. You keep working through it.
"these boys had grown up blaming themselves rather than the bastards who did it to them, as I did. the therapist also stated that having been molested did not make you gay. you are born to be the sexual orientation you are, it isn't a consequence of molestation."
What an important quote!
Snow?! Snow!? That makes me sad.
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