"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.

7/15/2010

yes it's been a few days maybe even a week since i have posted. i have been having family time with my sisters and kids, but i have also not been feeling too well. i see both my docs at the end of the month. so i have been layin low, takin' it slow, visiting with Jo, and feelin just so-so...

the weather has been hot here and tonight we had a good thunderstorm with very high winds so hopefully it cleaned out the mugginess and cooled things off a bit. we have the pool to keep us cool, so I'm not complaining.

we are watching alot of movies as me and my sister love that. i have been having lil flashes of my past enter my mind and taunt me... the fact that i am 54 has been making me feel SO old, and with my physical health problems it only adds to it. the older i am becoming, the less meat i am eating as it just gags me with a spoon, and the more i am feeling my life going by faster and faster all the time..

tonight, our other sister Denise came to swim and eat dinner with her MIL and daughter. as the storm hit, we were all in the living room watching the weather on TV and i can't pinpoint what triggered the memory but i had a body flashback of when i was being molested as a girl. it was really yucky and i tried to shrug it off but it was there and i did not like the way it made me feel, at all. i hate when that happens. and i don't want to talk about it with anyone in my family.

my niece has had another seizure this morning so her doc is starting her on medication. my sister has become so clingy with her that it's driving my niece crazy. but i know how i would feel if it were one of mine and I'd prolly be the same. a 14 year old just can't comprehend how much one worries as a mom.

our landlady has bought a new dishwasher and stove for us and will be installing it tomorrow night- yeah! can't wait cuz 2 of the burners on the stove haven't worked for a long time and neither does the dish washer. with all the cooking we do, it has been a challenge to make a whole meal. it's the lil things in life like a proper stovetop, that make me happy.

it's almost Friday!!!

C

6 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

I feel like I guilted you in to posting...sorry....but thanks for the update! :)

Sorry you haven't been feeling well. I was hoping that WASN'T the case, and that you were just having too much fun with sis. Just take it easy and let your sister help you while she's there. I'm sure she's dying to show her appreciation for your hospitality, so just let her.

Wow, congrats on the new appliances! I'm most excited about the dishwasher!! How the hell have you been dealing with NOT having one!? I know you guys do lots of cooking, but I had no idea all those dishes were being washed by hand! (shudder!)

greg said...

How did you do all that cooking with only two burners? That's really tough.

I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well and I truly hope things start looking up for you. You need a break in the worst way.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Sorry you are not feeling well C.
You did just have surgery you know...give yourself time.
As far as the bad memories, I don't know what to tell you. I get some from time to time and I kind of just shrug them off...not sure if that is right or not.
Hugs to you...and your family.
take care, Suz

Technodoll said...

Yey for nice landlords! They're as rare as chicken teeth so I'm happy you lucked out - your cooking will take on a whole new life :)

And yes, use that pool... keep enjoying your visit... and take it easy until you can see your doctors again. Stupid bodies, stupid aging... worried about you!

(( hugs ))

That corgi :) said...

sorry you haven't been feeling too well, C. I'm hopeful you will start to feel better soon or the doctors have a trick or two under their sleeves that will help you feel better when you see them (do let them know you are a bit under the weather in case they want to see you sooner)

so sorry about your memory of your childhood abuse; so sad you had a less than kind childhood :(

sounds though like you are having a good visit with your sister! sometimes in the heat the best thing we can do is hang low, watch movies, and just "chill" (if that is possible when it is hot)

good thing with the new stove/dishwasher being installed; definite things I don't want to live without for too long

betty

Jason, as himself said...

Yuck. Some bad stuff in this post.

And also good. A properly functioning kitchen can make one feel a hundred times better!