yesterday on Oprah the topic was "women who leave their husbands for other women". of course, Diane and i had to watch it. i do like Oprah and respect what she represents, but sometimes she pisses me off cuz she will ask the stupidest questions that make her appear to be just a nosey person rather than an unbiased observer. she had the most extreme of examples of women who left their husbands for a woman.... i guess i expected more from her, and felt let down. maybe i am interjecting my own story into the whole thing and maybe i am being judgemental about it because it's not how it was for me. [yes, i began questioning my sexuality when i was still married to David, but i was trying to figure out what it was that i needed for myself first and foremost AND then what i was feeling for a woman in my therapy group.] it took me a long time to process my feelings. and i decided before i was even sure, that IF i had different needs now that i was getting to know my real self... i wouldn't allow them to be the reason my marriage ended. i was still in love with David even with these other feelings, and i would have shut that part of me down in order to keep my marriage together and remain a family for our kids. right or wrong, that was how i felt then. but when our marriage ended, it was he who wanted to leave us, and did so right after our third child was born.. it wasn't until he left that i discovered i was pregnant again. i didn't feel sure about my sexuality until 3 years later, once i had let go of my dream of being married to David for the rest of my life. it was such a time of painful disillusionment AND discovery for me.... as one part of me was letting go, the other new part was filling in. everyone has a story, and i am working on writing mine..... an hour on Oprah just doesn't cover everything that should be said about discovering you are gay, even if simply for educating those who do not understand it. i think that is why i felt let down. she sensationalized the extreme situations rather than attempting to help people understand more. it's only through educating the public that hate crimes and injustice will decrease.

crp