"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.


yesterday on Oprah the topic was "women who leave their husbands for other women". of course, Diane and i had to watch it. i do like Oprah and respect what she represents, but sometimes she pisses me off cuz she will ask the stupidest questions that make her appear to be just a nosey person rather than an unbiased observer. she had the most extreme of examples of women who left their husbands for a woman.... i guess i expected more from her, and felt let down. maybe i am interjecting my own story into the whole thing and maybe i am being judgemental about it because it's not how it was for me. [yes, i began questioning my sexuality when i was still married to David, but i was trying to figure out what it was that i needed for myself first and foremost AND then what i was feeling for a woman in my therapy group.] it took me a long time to process my feelings. and i decided before i was even sure, that IF i had different needs now that i was getting to know my real self... i wouldn't allow them to be the reason my marriage ended. i was still in love with David even with these other feelings, and i would have shut that part of me down in order to keep my marriage together and remain a family for our kids. right or wrong, that was how i felt then. but when our marriage ended, it was he who wanted to leave us, and did so right after our third child was born.. it wasn't until he left that i discovered i was pregnant again. i didn't feel sure about my sexuality until 3 years later, once i had let go of my dream of being married to David for the rest of my life. it was such a time of painful disillusionment AND discovery for me.... as one part of me was letting go, the other new part was filling in. everyone has a story, and i am working on writing mine..... an hour on Oprah just doesn't cover everything that should be said about discovering you are gay, even if simply for educating those who do not understand it. i think that is why i felt let down. she sensationalized the extreme situations rather than attempting to help people understand more. it's only through educating the public that hate crimes and injustice will decrease.


Busy Bee Suz said...

Extreme is what people watch Oprah for...I thought the same thing as you, but I did learn some things from it also. Very interesting
And no, I am not leaving my husband. ;0

Technodoll said...

I had no idea you had had it so rough... oh man, you are one tough gal - Oprah should interview YOU!


J. Hi said...

Oprah lost her sparkle for me years ago. I think she just misses the mark a lot of times. She just doesn't relate anymore.

ChiTown Girl said...

OMG!! I pretty much loathe Oprah, and don't usually ever watch her. However, I happened to be awake the other night when she was on (She's on at 9am here in chicago, then they replay it at 11pm) because I fell asleep on the couch at 8!! Anyway, I was flipping through channels, and came across O, and the topic caught my ear. I was wishing the entire time that I had your number so I could call you and ask you if you watched. If only I could watch the show without Oprah being on it...

Jason, as himself said...

I guess the non-extreme stories wouldn't get such great ratings?

There are few things more gut-wrenching than realizing you're gay when you're married in a straight relationship.

I'm glad you're finding you're able to write about it.

As sensationalistic as Oprah can be at times, I think the more these issues get talked about, the less of a stigma homosexuality will carry.

Clippy Mat said...

Hey Missus:
nice post!
Oprah jumped the shark many years ago. I can't bring myself to watch her anymore, especially when she has celebrities on... yeuch
thanks for visiting me by the way.