"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.


...if you wake up and feel nauseated, go back to bed!

This morning when I awoke, I was feeling nauseated, I should have known the day was destined to go down hill from there. I couldn’t eat breakfast or lunch, only sip on some warm tea. I looked at my checking account online to check my balance, and noticed a $500.00 withdrawal to a company I’d never heard of before, so I called the bank and eventually after much discussion the bank refunded my hacked funds. But I am still missing some funds so I will have to deal with this again on Monday. A person can’t even go in for open heart surgery without identity thieves trying to take advantage… geeeesh.
Then my day consisted of my usual OT and PT. I was sitting in the recliner talking to my sister on the phone when I had the urge to pee. (every so often, I get that) I have been up independently in my room almost as long as I have been here. As I got up this afternoon, I tripped over the blanket I was covered up with, went stumbling forward and the right side of my face smashed into this large wardrobe across from me, and I went down. My face slid all the way down the bastard until it came to rest on the floor. I heard my sister yelling if I was ok on the phone which was flung across the floor. I called out “help” once and 5 nurses appeared. I was bleeding from my nose and mouth, spitting out tissue as my teeth went through my bottom lip. I was able to roll over and sit up on the floor, my knees were scraped pretty good like a bad case of rug burn during rough sex on the floor..
The girls had to get a Hoyer lift to get me off the floor and into bed. I cried like a baby which I think is mostly due to pent up emotion I have held back since the day I was admitted. Next thing I knew my son Nicholas arrived, along with my sister and a mutual friend of ours.
Here it is 9-10 hours later since I fell, and I am aching on the side of my head, the right side of my rib cage, around to my back. I took some pain meds because I knew I would be hurting later. Unexpectedly, in walked a co-worker of mine, John.
He came bearing great news that the hospital I work for is downsizing our unit 30% by next week. He said our boss wanted him to come by and give me a heads up, and he strongly suggested that I apply for disability whilst I am still an employee. I am the newest nurse to be hired last August so I am pretty sure I will be one of the first to be layed off. John said the hospital will try to place those let go, somewhere else in the hospital, but I am limited because I need a desk job. Apparently all accounts not belonging to the med center I work for, are being pulled and the other large hospital corporation here will develop their own answering/triage services which will take a third of our bussiness away. And it's the company I used to work for so I won't be going there to apply for a job, even though I left in good standing.
Needless to say, I am feeling just like I did a few years ago when I lost my other job due to my broken arm. I am not trying to be dramatic or jump the gun at all, I just want to mentally prepare myself because I have been here before and it wasn’t pretty.
I am trying very hard not to fall apart from today’s events and right now I am ok. Either it hasn’t hit me yet, or the strength that has carried me through all this from the start, is continuing to carry me now and will until I am settled once more. At this point, I don’t know which it is.
All I do know is that I need to concentrate all of my energy into rebuilding my physical state, nurture my emotional state, and let God do the rest as he has always done throughout my life. I tend to get in my own way and want to be in control of what happens, and how quickly. Patience has never been my best virtue.
My pain pills are kicking in, making me sleepy. I’m gonna get in bed and watch American pickers.
Have a good weekend.



ChiTown Girl said...

Are you freakin' SERIOUS!!??

Oh my poor pumpkin. I so wish I was there to give you a real hug. For now, I'm sending LOTS of cyber hugs.



Technodoll said...

Jeebus frick woman, when it rains the cats and dogs fall from the sky with claws and teeth a'scratchin'!!

Seems like you can't catch a break unless it's a body part and that, mon amie, c'est pas bon!! Arrête!!

Very glad you're blogging again, you've been missed!

Have to thank your soeur for keeping us updated on your status... so many woes, hopefully behind you now. Quit falling and everything will get better, LOL! :-D

*hugs hugs* *kiss kiss*

sophie...^5 said...

Mwaaah...my sweet...would you please stop all this nonsense...I look frwd to your world and if for some reason you fall down some time and.....I won't go there...just know you are a person with joie de vivre and dontcha forgit eet!

Sophie and Ron

Busy Bee Suz said...

Yeah, put all your energy into getting healthy right now.
The rest will be sorted out as you go.
I'm so sorry this happened. I feel for you {physically and mentally}
I hope you are feeling better by now...with the bruising healing and your pretty face back in place.

Anonymous said...

You have the most important job in the world right now, being your own nurse. First you get well and then you concern yourself with work. I hope you're feeling a little better by now. xoxo