"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.


Yes. I mean this. I am not in the greatest of moods tonight. First~ I still haven't received the results of my labs from last week. I'm getting very annoyed about it. I could have Cellulite and not even know it. Secondly, I have been working every s.i.n.g.l.e. day all week, this was my weekend off, but I work and will only have Sunday off. It's not enough. I'm tired, and SO grouchy I actually stabbed and killed 5 dust bunnies under me bed just for shits and giggles. And then I LEFT THEM THERE TO ROT.

I am still waiting for my new meds for depression, to kick in. As of tonight, the only kicking there're doing is to my ass.. And there're laughing at me, too.

I honestly feel like a bitchy, used up, crippled, old cow. My constant pain level is fired up enough to launch a space rocket filled with M & M's to the moon but it'd be such a shame to waste good chocolate like that. I suppose we could use all the lost socks the world's driers eat when no one is looking.

I do NOT feel happy. Can you tell? I am still grieving over what's her name, time is NOT healing me and frankly, I want it to all go away YESTERDAY, please. I am due for a good firm A.K. because I still read posts about how she is doing. FUCK YEAH, it hurts me to the core. But I remain faithful to my self abuse. I am like a pit bull that won't let go of the rubber steak that still smells real ... Erm, ya know, just in case it is.

I know I am in a bad way when I'll ask myself out but then turn myself down.. I even refuse to have sex with myself. I say things like "not now, dear.. I have a headache".. or "fuck off, bitch." It's true, damn it.. I wont even let me see meself nekked.. Which certainly makes it hard to shave one's legs.. I thought I was shaving my legs in the shower today but it just didn't feel right. later when I was dressed, I looked in the shower only to find I'd shaved the fucking paint off the wall. What give's?

Needless to say, I've had much better days. like the time I got caught up in a tornado and ended up 2 states over. Didn't know this bitch could fly. I musta hit my head cuz I had amnesia and couldn't remember whether or not I'd fed the cat that morning. Wait. I have a cat? Shit, can't remember it's name. What was I saying again...

Who are you all?

And what do ya want with my uncle? NO you can't have one of my socks, quit asking.

I guess I should "go" now. Or should I be saying I should "come" now..?

Silly slut, I told you I wasn't in the fucking mood so get off me.



sophie...^5 said...

I hates to say it but I love you in a pissy mood 'cause I's a laughing me arse off!

jo.irish.rose said...

What the heck you shaving the walls for?? I did them when I was there, they shouldn't be hairy this quick!!! Dang!

....and I told you NOT to feed the dust bunnies, they will multiply!!

If I have to go over there to do some butt whoopin', I will...so don't make me come back there!!! Straighten up or I'll have to put someone on you!!! And you ain't gonna like it!!! Lol

DysFUNctional Mom said...

This is why I love you!! You are funny even in the shittiest of times.

Jim said...

Guess what? It IS a good thing you are WORKING!!! I can't imagine the bitch you'd be if you weren't! lol

Guess what again? You're/our pal Chitown girl is hurting too....she has Shingles, as you know, as is hurting real bad! But you know that. You could send her a 'note' to make her feel better. Hey! I heard that! I am NOT what you just called me! lol

I do hope you feel better....I KNOW you will when EVERYTHING kicks in. Take care Chris!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Even in the bad state you are in (I've got nothing against Nebraska!) you still make me laugh.
I hope the meds help soon...but really, it might not be the depressing talking....I'm thinking it is the ANGER speaking here.
I love you girl...try a bit of mediation or something to soothe your soul. A hot bath. A cup of tea. Or wine.