Yes. I mean this. I am not in the greatest of moods tonight. First~ I still haven't received the results of my labs from last week. I'm getting very annoyed about it. I could have Cellulite and not even know it. Secondly, I have been working every s.i.n.g.l.e. day all week, this was my weekend off, but I work and will only have Sunday off. It's not enough. I'm tired, and SO grouchy I actually stabbed and killed 5 dust bunnies under me bed just for shits and giggles. And then I LEFT THEM THERE TO ROT.
I am still waiting for my new meds for depression, to kick in. As of tonight, the only kicking there're doing is to my ass.. And there're laughing at me, too.
I honestly feel like a bitchy, used up, crippled, old cow. My constant pain level is fired up enough to launch a space rocket filled with M & M's to the moon but it'd be such a shame to waste good chocolate like that. I suppose we could use all the lost socks the world's driers eat when no one is looking.
I do NOT feel happy. Can you tell? I am still grieving over what's her name, time is NOT healing me and frankly, I want it to all go away YESTERDAY, please. I am due for a good firm A.K. because I still read posts about how she is doing. FUCK YEAH, it hurts me to the core. But I remain faithful to my self abuse. I am like a pit bull that won't let go of the rubber steak that still smells real ... Erm, ya know, just in case it is.
I know I am in a bad way when I'll ask myself out but then turn myself down.. I even refuse to have sex with myself. I say things like "not now, dear.. I have a headache".. or "fuck off, bitch." It's true, damn it.. I wont even let me see meself nekked.. Which certainly makes it hard to shave one's legs.. I thought I was shaving my legs in the shower today but it just didn't feel right. later when I was dressed, I looked in the shower only to find I'd shaved the fucking paint off the wall. What give's?
Needless to say, I've had much better days. like the time I got caught up in a tornado and ended up 2 states over. Didn't know this bitch could fly. I musta hit my head cuz I had amnesia and couldn't remember whether or not I'd fed the cat that morning. Wait. I have a cat? Shit, can't remember it's name. What was I saying again...
Who are you all?
And what do ya want with my uncle? NO you can't have one of my socks, quit asking.
I guess I should "go" now. Or should I be saying I should "come" now..?
Silly slut, I told you I wasn't in the fucking mood so get off me.