"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.

10/27/2011

it's just me & my gal, now..

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my son alexander moves into his own apartment this Saturday. I am happy for him, as he has been wanting to do that for a while now, but at the same time... I cant believe there will be no more kids at home with me. I am the type of person that has difficulties letting go, I don't like changes, specially this close to my heart. but I have raised the 4 of them, and it's time for them to fly on their own. it feels like I am ending a chapter of my life, and entering a new one. it's been 26 years that I've had the kids with me, one by one they took responsibility for their lives and began their own new chapters.

it's a healthy thing for them to each do, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

in just 2 days, it will be just Diane and I, and we too will be starting a new phase in our lives. we need to find a less expensive place to live, but one we will both enjoy. she and I feel like we need to find our direction and purpose again, in life. I know it's a growing period for the both of us, because prior to now, we planned everything around the kid's schedules... so we each have to find our roles sans enfants.

I do have my new job, which helps tremendously. in 2 weeks my trainer will be teaching me the last 2 programs I need to learn, and I will be done. I had a meeting with my boss's boss, and got good ratings in all areas. I love my new job, it's perfect for me. thank you, God. I had prayed to be led into something I will enjoy and be able to do, and that's what I got. no one but God could have timed everything the way it happened, just as he has done so many times in my life before.

I have been my own worst enemy many times. but I understand why I tend to have self sabotaging behaviors. growing up with abuse, will always interfere with my trust issues for the rest of my life... that's just the way it is.

Diane and I are also realizing how much these last 2 years have taken it's toll on us. we need time to re-center ourselves, and find direction again, as anyone would need to do after so many changes. I am sure we will both get to a good, strong place again... I love her SO much.

time for bed..

C

7 comments:

Jamie said...

I totally understand your feelings about being an empty-nester. (You know, I hate that phrase...). But anyway, it will be okay. It may take awhile but you will discover that it's actually pretty great, having no one there other than you and Diane.

Have a very happy Thursday. :)

sophie...^5 said...

Such good thoughts from you today...the coop has flown and now you can be invited over sometime...now that's a whole new way to view the next 20 or 30 years...nothing but normal "goings on" with grown up families...sounds so yummy!

jo.irish.rose said...

Just think....no more blaming the kids now for messy stuffs!!! Wait!!! There won't be "NO MORE MESSY STUFFS!!! lol hahahaha so there!!! How's that for fun!! And also no one to eat "the last of the favorite goody" or hog the remote control, or leave the dang toilet seat up!!!! Lol

But if you want, when I come over, I will do all those things just to irritate to once again!!! Make sure you get a place that's big enough for me too!!! Don't forget, k??

Clippy Mat said...

it should last about 5 mins. they'll be back so often to visit and hang out, or catch up with sleep, or laundry, or food, etc that you'll think they never even left.
your job sounds great and i'm so glad that you got there. good luck with the move and i hope you find somewhere great to live. i'm sure you will.
i've just caught up with all of your recent posts cos i haven't been around for a while. i've enjoyed reading your stuff so much. thanks for the laughs and the tears and the smiles.
:-))

Busy Bee Suz said...

Hugs and kisses to you sweet Mama. I would be scared at this prospect as well.....but look at it as a new adventure. Your time is your own....and you can run around nekkid all the time now. I know how you like that. :)
They won't go too far, you know that....you've made it too good for them at home, they'll be back for visits often. And food.
xoxoxoxo

ps. Bella told me she would like a lil' brother to play with.

Jim said...

What a difference a job makes, eh?
Yes I agree with you Chris when life throws a curve or two we react the only way we are 'wired' to....initially. I am so happy that you have a job you love.......you kept the faith, kiddo!
Jim
Thanks for 'following' me again.....now I can'git cha'!

Maria said...

You know, it's funny. Before Liv was born, I couldn't imagine having a child. Once I had her, I couldn't imagine living without her.

I am so used to be someone's mama, someone's beck and call. Liv and I text several times a day and SHE LIVES WITH ME. When she goes on trips with her father, we text up to 40 times a day. It is ridiculous.

Think of all the time you and Diane will have to re-discover each other. I think what I look forward to the most is....having sex anywhere and not worrying about a child in the house.

There! Look forward to THAT!