I bet I now have your attention, ey?
(yes, there're mine, aaalll mine)
..I learned summit today. I learned that sometimes you just have to stick up for yourself. because if you don't, no one else will claim your body whenst they find it..
..I, of ALL people, had a little snaffooo at work today. here's the thing- I haven't worked for 2 years. during those 2 years, I had a few setbacks, constipatedbacks, near death experiences... whatever you want to call them. my life was hell, regardless. so then I found this job that suites me perfectly & I can actually do it without causing any more pain to my decrepit, old body- because I will be using my
ass brain. however, after having been off work & out of "my element" so to speak... I was crusty rusty. ok, I admit it, I was crusty, too. it took me a longer time to get my brain thinking & working properly. I guess I was befuddled to think I could just walk in and automatically know what the hell I was doing.
..yeah, hokay.. I had a Prozac moment... like jumping off a cliff then realizing I'm nekked and that's how they'll find me. after I pissed meself, I realized I was no spring chickie. I also realized I was on a learning curve, but it wasn't going MY way. it gave me gas. really, really, bad gas. my reflexes, brain, efficiency, and ability to whistle stairway to heaven were in fact, slow-mo.. much like a turtle on a lazy day- rather than the rabbit after 14 Red Bulls.
..so I met with my boss today & told him how inadequate I felt as I regurgitated my 2 year saga all over his desk and the donut he was eating. he listened, we discussed my problOmatic areas, & said he understood as he too was out of work for over a year for health reasons. he said it took him 6 weeks going back to the same unit, to feel as confident as he did prior to the year off. he pointed out however, that I was starting over in a whole different type of nursing... I would have to learn to adapt, as well as how to burp the alphabet. (he's such a character, isn't he?)
..normal orientation is now 6 weeks, but it used to be 10. as long as I continue to show progress, he will give me all 10. I almost started to cry because I really felt his support & understanding. my point is, I don't think it would have turned out the same way had I not been honest with him about
having diarrhea how I felt, & explained where I was coming from when I escaped from hell.
..the moral of the story is this...
..when you aren't up to doing your best because you took too much heroin the night before, just remember there are 13 eggs in a baker's dozen.