"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.



...I have never been happier to fall into the comforting arms of a Fridee night! I wish tomorrow could be Friday as well- anything to prolong the weekend! this week has been a battering of my body & mind. tonight I ache SO bad I just wanna sew a button on my arm & start a trend.

if I could leave my body until it healed up, then put it back on like an old, comfy, t-shirt, I would.

..yesterday at work I had walked SO much on a tour of the rest of the campus that by the time I got to my car (which was blocks away) I was having some hefty hefty hefty (not wimpy) chest pains that felt like there was a gnome rolling a boulder over my rib cage... and I pictured myself collapsing right there in the parking lot... and if so, I asked myself if someone would just run me over, or leave me for dead.

..I didn't have the phone with me.. by the time I got in my car I had to take a nitro, it didn't work so I took a second one, and I finally felt relief. I have never felt SO out of shape as I have this week. I used to love to walk & bike everywhere, and could do it for miles.. now I can hardly walk a block with out severe pain and shortness of breath.. and stairs? fawgetdafuckaboutthat..

..I couldn't climb a flight to save my life even if my butt was on fire & a million baby boxers were awaiting me at the top.

..between the neuropathy in my feet, the fibromyalgia, my aching back, the angina that has now become a part of my life, and keeping from tripping over me titties whilst I walk- I am just a hot mess. 

this can't be me, it was just yesterday that I was young and carefree, walking and biking all over town. who is this person that thinks she is me, and when did she sneak into my playground...

..talk about BIG life changes... if mine hasn't rolled into a different flavored cookie, then I don't know who's has.



Jamie said...

Good heavens --- what will you do with the job being so much exercise? That can't be good for you, can it? I know how you feel on so many levels, and yes, I gotta say, it sucks. But honey, don't fall down and die for any job, okay? Take care of yourself.

Hugs from your eastern neighbor. :)

ChiTown Girl said...

Holy shitoly. I hope the walking tours are over finally. Are you going to be able to start your "real" job next week? Tell me you didn't get fooled into taking a job that requires this much physical activity. Although, if you can survive the first few weeks, just think how in shape you'll be. ;-)

Busy Bee Suz said...

I hate that you are having so many health issues. I can actually fix ONE of your problems.
If you wear a bra, you won't trip over the girls. Promise. They work. :)
HOpefully you get some good R & R this weekend and feel refreshed on Monday. Is the training/walking part over yet???