tonight Diane and I watched a show on TV called “30 Days” [on discovery channel.} it’s on every week and they have all kinds of topics usually, but tonight it was about a very straight narrow minded Christian woman who very strongly believes gays shouldn’t be allowed to be parents through adoption, let alone even be together. however, she agreed to spend 30 days in a gay household with 2 men and their 4 sons whom they adopted from foster care situations, and who were basically unwanted by anyone else..
they were a family, and I am sure initially both sides of these parties were hoping to meet on some middle ground as their belief systems were definitely at opposite ends of the spectrum. she began the project with an attitude that it’s her way or no way.. she stated at every opportunity how she believes that gay love is wrong, its not ok to teach the kids it’s ok… and that it’s an abomination to God.
the gay couple seemed like wonderfully caring and kind people, who spoke softly and respectfully with her in attempts to try to get her to understand that when she and those like her, are actively working at both the local and legislative levels to prevent gays from adopting, it is hurting families like theirs… and the kids involved.
families who want to share their lives with children that no one else wants, and to make a good life for them. several other couples including lesbians attempted to discuss with her that they respect her opinion, but ask for tolerance in return. they told her that she can believe how she wants to, but when she becomes active in trying to promote her beliefs, she is causing even more struggle and negativity than the gay community already faces.. that she in fact, is putting each side at war with each other.
the couples in this show were not trying to get her to change her mind about what she believes to be right, but to not make it more difficult. she in turn though, could and would not see beyond her narrow minded opinions and was actually a bitch to everyone she met. she didn’t even attempt to understand the gay lifestyle, and even was cold and distant to the couple’s 4 sons.
we found ourselves just wanting to slap her several times, because she “attacked” everyone then said they were attacking her, which they weren't. two grown foster kids showed her around the hood they grew up in, living in swallor in group homes and spoke of the horrible ways they were treated, and how much it destroys your soul when you feel unwanted, uncared about, and alone. on one hand she stated she cared for the kids, but then said she would rather see them stay in group home settings than be adopted by gay families.
I just cant put my head around her mentality. no one was asking her to become or partake in anything gay, all they asked of her was to keep an open mind, and tolerate those who live different lifestyles. she even told them God hates what they are doing.. like she was his own personal Katie Couric or something. clearly this woman’s heart was icy cold, and whatever fears she may have to at least live and let live, were too strong for her to get past. she represents so many “Christians” that are “holier than thou” and so judgmental, the one thing God states not to be.
I don’t care if you are purple or short or gay or not.. we are human beings first and foremost.. who just happen to be gay, or just happen to be straight… why does the kind of sex we partake in, define who we are as people? and when did those of you who are straight, first discover you were straight? and was it hard for you to come out as a straight? did you lose family or friends when they found out about you? did you feel different? did you have shame? what if you were ridiculed or beaten or worse yet, tortured and killed because you are straight? how would that be ok?
just because there are more straight people in the world doesn’t mean they are superior on the human ladder. they are in fact, no better or worse, than you and i. we are all human and that makes us all the same. we all bleed red and have feelings and dreams and hopes and fears…
we all want the same basic things like to love and be loved, to fit in, to be free to be who we really are. if straight people had to endure the same persecution, degradation, and inequality that gays do, something would surely be done about it, simply because there are more of you and the powers that be would determine it was a priority.
the only thing that is different about us is whom we fall in love with.
this poor woman could not understand that. she could not possibly imagine the shoe being on the other foot. and in my measly little opinion, how can you love others when you can’t even open your heart up to try to put yourself in their shoes and empathize? every generation is the same.. we will continue to judge each other either by color, race, sexuality, or status… but truly it’s only love that makes any of it tolerable.
there will come a time when everyone is on an equal basis.. it’s just a matter of when. and in the meantime, how many people have to be hurt and killed in the name of God and righteousness, before everyone realizes we are all in this together.. like it or not..?
in the end, the parents of the 4 boys told this woman they wished her the best, but could not have her in their lives as a friend, because she could not support their family and the difference they are trying to make. she seemed offended..