"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.

7/24/2010

Season Finale

(i fucking hope)

On today's episode of "as the shit hits the fan" we discover what's under my skin and the culprit is revealed. and YES it turns out it really was an alien all along..

I finally saw my primary care doc this morning.. i told you about him [and he's a gem]. after seeing me he arranged for me to see the surgeon he recommended, this afternoon. [another gem].

After reviewing my info and pussycat scan (he showed Diane and i pointing out every little detail), he said he believed it was an abscess that prolly wasn't infected last Monday when i first went to the ER but it had grown all week and now it was and because of that, i acquired cellulitis around that area. he gave me a choice to have him take care of it in his office using a local, or to wait until Monday and do it under sedation anesthesia. i chose for him to just do it in his office.

I was in alot of pain by then and worn out from all the palaver this week. he numbed the area with lidocaine, made a 2 inch incision and sure enough it was infected. i am on plavix due to my heart stent, so i bled quite a bit. i was pretty calm on the table but when he first used the cautery pencil i jumped, and he jumped back saying i just made him pee his pants as i scared the crap out of him. it was funny, i was jumpy from nerves, and we all had a righteous good laugh about it.

And then we found the culprit...

stitch 003

Can you see that lil thang in the cuppola? well, it's a leftover stitch from 1972 when i was 15 years old and had surgery. that's 340 yrs. ago in dog years. can you even believe it ??? yep, that's what caused the abscess. i suppose i could sue those docs who did my surgery, but there're prolly all dead now. of course i wanted to keep it, it's nearly an antique and i thought i might sell it on e-bay. how much should i ask for such an old stitch? 5, 10, maybe 15 thousand? 

He showed Diane how to pack it with gauze as it had started tunneling. you don't want tunneling- it's very dangerous. there could be bears and lions in the tunnels.. he got it just in time before it went too deep into my tissue. she will have to unpack and repack my incision twice a day and i see him again on Monday. the whole procedure wasn't as bad as i thought and i am so relieved it's over.

Now wouldn't you think that was enough fun for a Friday evening? for some, it might have been. but for me, i needed more action and horror, apparently.

After we left his office we went to Wal-Mart to fill my prescriptions. all i did was walk in to the pharmacy. i felt something wet on my belly, looked down and there i was saturated in blood, hemorrhaging. right there in the eye care aisle of all places.. i waddled out to the car, Diane got my meds and took me back to the ER. I've become a regular. a staple to their environment so to speak. can you believe i have a reserved parking spot and my own room with my name on it?

The doc changed my bandages, i layed there and bled for awhile, he said it was due to the Plavix, applied pressure on it and got blood work. my hemoglobin is now 8. [normal is 13-15 for women] that's borderline for needing a few pints of Guinness blood. after awhile i had stopped bleeding and they sent me home. i can't do anything but sit or lay down all weekend. i had to wear hospital clothes home as mine were just a titch soiled.

I am home now, feeling la la dee bloody la with the Percocet's i took... and i feel no pain at the momento.

It's been a loOoOoOng week and you guys have been so supportive. thank you again for that. i think this concludes the season finale of "as the shit hits the fan." but stay tuned as you nevah know what the writers have in store for you. personally, I'm hoping the show will get cancelled altogether.

And I'll take the option of refusing reruns as well.

C

8 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

oh.my.word.

You couldn't make this shit up if you tried. I'm with you, cancel this freakin' show already!!!!

I hope you get lots of rest this weekend. Diane is such a goddess and she'll take good care of you, for sure.

greg said...

Thank you for this update - I was concerned for you. I'm leaving for the cruise in a couple of hours but want you to know I wish you nothing but the best health and relaxation this week. Stay well! xo

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my gosh. If anything wacky can happen, it will happen to you.
How the heck did that stitch hang in that long and just NOW decide it needed out? Damn aliens.

Please rest up and stop bleeding this weekend. Perhaps next week, you will feel human again!!!!
Sending you some of my good mojo, I have been saving it up since 1972.

hugs, Suz

C said...

awww you guys are so sweet. you all made me smile. i am on the road to recovery and happy to be there. no speedbumps so far...

c

jo.irish.rose said...

you better not hit any speedbumps or pot holes or any masses of any kind with that new car or your body!!! DONT MAKE ME BACK THERE!!! I HAVE A BAD HEAD ACHE!! well, it isnt your fault, we are expecting a storm i think. but i have a whole new house!! and i leeeerrrrrvvvveeeee it!!! i will take pics and post them. K? that will cheer you. right on it. today, the kids all came over and we cooked out (hence, the migraine? maybe...nah, i had it before...lol) then i went to see dad, and now i am resting. so....you best be resting and not stressing over kids, sister, or other crapolas, cuz if i call for a report, summits gonna hit de fan big time!!!! so, di if you are reading this, she has to behave....so make her. k? love you guys. and thanks again for all the fun and crap while i was there. you are the best, both of you!

otin said...

Glad that they got you straightened out! That is so strange how something from over 30 years ago caused the problem.

Technodoll said...

OK next time you have a surgery, ANY kind of surgery - you go straight home and lay down for a while, yes?

No scaring the little chillin in walmart with vampire stuff!

LOL

Well... laughter is the best medecine, isn't it? sorta kinda? when you're not in... stitches?

(( hugs )) and PLEASE be CAREFUL, you! gaaaah!

Jude said...

A stitch? Left in from a zillion years ago and now it became a problem...for craps sake. Well, anyway...glad you're doing ok now.