soooOooo... i saw my doctor this morning for my check-up. he took another x-ray and is highly pleased with the overall progress of the healing. it has been 4 months since the surgery and he said this is the first evidence he has seen that i have turned the corner in the healing process. he admitted he didn't think it was going to heal, until today. the splinter is still there, however he said the tissue around it is beginning to scar over the tip. he ordered another 2 months of therapy and said it may even be towards the end of this year before he releases me to work again.
all in all it was good news. at least i don't need surgery. the thing is, i will not have health insurance for the duration of my recovery and i am wondering how and where i will get the 8 prescriptions i take on a daily basis. i cannot go without them. i have high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, and fibromyalgia. aside from that, i am as healthy as a horse!
i never thought a broken humorus could take this long to heal. the doc said it is the bone in the body that is the hardest to heal.. and it was a severe break that shattered my bone into pieces. so i guess he has a point..
i do need to vent something and please don't think I'm just being a bitch.. my sister who lives here in town has really pissed me off. she's known i have no money for my meds and little for the things we need.. yet she has not offered to help me in any way. she lives pretty comfortably, her kids all go to private schools... she lives in a mansion.
back in the day, David and i helped each one of my family members out several times at the expense of putting hardship on ourselves. they lived with us, we gave them money, food, let them use our car, and gave them furniture when they moved out.. we were the parents to them as our mom couldn't help anyone.
i don't regret that, because to me family always comes first.. and i would do everything in my power to help them even now. i guess i am really more hurt than angry because i have very little and when she comes to eat she doesn't offer to bring anything and sometimes i feel like i am being taken advantage of that way, as well. she says something sarcastic to make me feel like shit if i ask her to pick up some bread or a dessert.
i am just not like that. and i guess i am feeling like i am in a situation where i need help financially but i am on my own because those in my family that could help, aren't even offering. i know saying this makes me sound like a bitch, well maybe i am one. maybe i am just depressed and angry that things are so hard for me right now. maybe i am wallowing in major self pity.. i don't even know anymore.
after being the care taker to everyone in my family all those years when they needed me, maybe i am just bitter that now I need the help and no one cares. and bitching about it wont change anything.. all i know is that if the situation were reversed and i knew she needed some support and help, I'd be right there. even with the little i have i would still help her.. i couldn't live with myself knowing my sister needed for anything.
i just need to let go of my anger towards her, and trust that God will provide all my needs. tonight it's very difficult to do that.