i often wonder if there are any other people out there who do some of the silly crazy OCD stuff i do, and why....
I'm talking about things i personally do like always smelling milk before i pour it... looking at the toilet paper after i wipe [don't say ewwww, you do it too i saw you].
how 'bout counting? i find myself counting ceiling tiles whilst waiting for the dr. to come in, counting anything i can sitting on the toilet when I'm constipated just to take my mind off things.. or having to read a magazine for distraction. [both work well for me]. i enjoy the sneaky feeling i get when i am talking on the phone and they don't know I'm on the toilet poopin... i find myself counting someone else's exercises in PT then losing tract of my own. i count how many chews i can get before all the sugar is gone in my gum. ya know, counting....
my mind is usually always hard at work. i can walk whilst singing a song and try to figure out exactly just what that is on the ground that looks "iffy" and at the same time scratch an itch whilst planning what to make for dinner and twirl a piece of my hair with my free hand.
does this mean i am multitaskable? [hah, i just invented that word... aren't you envious of my abilities].
does anyone out there ever wonder how strange looking people in the grocery store, live like? do you wonder if that cat food they are buying is really for a cat or for themselves? specially if they are old... and then do you invent a scenario as to what their home, if they have one, would look like and if it is clean, and do they bathe daily...
if it's an odd looking couple do you find yourself trying to picture them having sex and then throwing up in your mouth a little then having to force yourself to repeat lines from songs you hate in your mind just to erase what you now picture?
when i shower i always do so in my routine way. if i slip up and wash one part before the one that should be washed next in my routine... i don't feel as clean. sometimes i start over. is that weird or do you do that too. it goes for cleaning, too. i have a routine for that as well and i best not vacuum before i dust or i will just give myself a consequence.
does anyone clip their nails in the living room whilst watching TV then blend the debris into the carpet with your foot cuz they show?
i hate that.
sometimes i stare at my naked feet stretched out in front of me whilst sitting in a chair and wonder how i know they are mine... cuz if i look long enough, they begin to resemble someone else's. then i try to picture them as my own little toddler's feet when i was little and that really freaks me out cuz i just cant imagine my parents nibbling on them.
when i hear the mail being dropped into my mailbox right outside my front door, i pause momentarily and try to capture the feeling of how i would feel if i were to find a large check made out to me by some unknown kind person randomly giving away cash. sometimes i can REALLY TRULY feel the excitement. then it turns out it was just gas.
don't you think we are each of us just a lil slanted in our own beautiful ways?
i do. and I'm so thankful to be human.