"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.


pondering, oh what shallst i think of next?


its late at night and i cant sleep as usual… its my night off of course. yes, the night owl in me is wide awake and lookin for trouble. just talked to my friends at work, they are always available in the wee hours… lemme see, who else could i call? ah, that would be NO ONE. no one else i know is up at this hour. so can i call you? would you be mad? you wouldn't hurt me too bad, wouldya?

ok, here’s a thought. if you won the Powerball, what would you do with your money? I'll tell ya what i would do and then we’ll compare, ok? ok.

first, i would pay off every single bill i owe. i would give everyone in my immediate family some money, enough to be comfortable. i would put college tuition in an account for Julian, my sweetie….

i would buy my 4 kids each a new, safe, and gas friendly car….

i would donate to the humane society, pediatric cancer, and st. judes hospital.. as these causes are close to my heart.

i would find great pleasure in going out to eat in dumpy restaurants where the waitresses probly hold down several jobs just to make ends meet and leave her/him a huge ass tip! god that would feel good.

i would open a savings account for my 4 kiddos and Julian and give them each a substantial amount to be had when they reach a certain ripe mature age, like say 62… kiddin, maybe 32….

then, if there was any money left, i would buy a modest house [i mean that] not too big, not too small… just with maybe 3 bedrooms, a big living room, kitchen equipped with modern appliances… and it wouldn't be elaborate but it would be just the way Diane and i wanted it to be. no gaudy miss laudy stuff everywhere… no wasted spaces… no need for 3 living rooms… nope, just a cute bungalow just the way we want it.

hopefully i would have enough money left to live on because i would not keep working. i would volunteer at different places. I’m gettin old, ya know…

ya know, sometimes when i feel down, i often fantasize about winning the lottery, and what i would do with the money. i pretend in my mind that i give alot of it away to strangers and i picture their faces in disbelief as i hand it to them… god, how i love that. just like at Christmas, i would rather give presents than receive them. it just makes my soul sing to give….


[did you hear that?]

[it’s NOT pretty, huh.]

yep, its a perdy safe fantasy for whenst ya cant sleep. sometimes, i plan out each room if i am still alert after the general stuff I'd do.

if that’s not enough then i plan out how i would decorate the whole inside. and if me eyes are still wide open, i decide what color the walls will be, what knickknacks I'd have, what themes, where to put the doggie bowls, what kind of dinner wares i want, and different places the toilet paper holders could go. cuz we would have 3 bathrooms, our private boudoir, one between the other 2 bedrooms and a main one for visitors complete with magazine holders and a hand held yatzee game for when your sitting there, ya know, poopin. sometimes it takes longer than other times, so ya gotta have something to do whilst you contemplate what to make for dinner.

can you picture my lil bungalow yet? or is your mind only on the yatzee games in the bathrooms…. come on now, fess up…. i have ESPN. [it’s ESP but that’s how i like to ruin that word].

and erm, i have a final though… actually, i have seen it on the internet here and there so i will not take credit for thinking it up…. but it always sticks with me. i don't know why. here goes;

when your mom used to kiss you goodnight, did ya ever wonder if she just gave your dad a blow job?????

well, you are now, aren't ya.

thanks for keeping me company. it was SO worth your time, i can tell…..




DysFUNctional Mom said...

AACKKK thanks for that visual! *puke*
I love your powerball fantasies. I would love to give a waitress a huge tip, too.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Buying lotto tickets TODAY!!! I will let you know what I do with the money when I get it. :)

joe said...

I'm really digging that font. I didn't think blogger had that type font.

greg said...

I am absolutely not up at that hour but I am glad that you are and you're writing something fun.

Yeah, that last part was gross!

ChiTown Girl said...

My list looks almost exactly like yours. Especially the big tips part. I've always been an over-tipper (it's a family trait!) but now that I've been working for tips for the past year and a half, I'm even MORE generous, since I know what that tip money means to people.

Maria said...

I don't think that my mother gave blow jobs. When she was telling me about sex, she advised that I get through "the marital act" by gritting my teeth and doing my duty. I don't think she felt obliged to give bjs.

Frankly, if you called my house after nine, I would be really, really crabby. I am usually in bed by then on the weeknights.

If I won the powerball, I would do much the same as you, although I don't really have any decorating ideas as I am about the least craft, creative person on the planet.

Jeve (aka John and Steve) said...

Oh man you are too funny. I can't picture anyone in my family giving a bj. I really don't want to go there.

Technodoll said...

It's a fantastic list, my dear... Mine would look a lot like it - wouldn't anyone's? Well those who have a heart, anyways!

I had a hard time reading that font though, my eyes must be lazy. It's pretty but slow-going :-/

Now. How many lottery tickets have you gone out and purchased? ;-)

ModernMom said...

Oh my goodness I just found your blog and had to comment. The part about you leaving great big tips in little dinners for unsuspecting servers! LOVE LOVE!
Great blog:)

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