"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.

9/23/2009

if i could save time in a bottle…

TEARS

i thought things between me and you were getting better. all i asked was to see him for a while. you won't let him come over here, or let me take him for the day.... and if i wanna see him, i must go there. is it so you can supervise me? i don't like the sound of that. i cannot believe i cannot see him. you're breaking my heart, again. after you told me you both were in a car accident this morning but you both weren't hurt... [thank god!] it scared me. what if you had been? what if something terribly bad happened to either of you? how would i be able to cope with it? life is too short for this kind of thing. bad things DO happen to good people and i cant bear the thought of it happening in our family. it feels like you are playing Russian roulette with the time i have left with him. you know honey, ever since you guys started getting older and more independent, i felt as though i was losing you, one by one. it was SO hard to let go when the time came. even though i knew it was the natural course of events, it did not make it any easier. so i looked forward to having grandkids one day. i had plans for what i would do with them, and it eased my heart knowing i could look forward to that. Diane and i were there the moment he was born. we witnessed him taking his first breath. i gave him his first bath. we loved him even before he was born. i never dreamed it would turn out like this. over the past 3 years, he became very deeply attached to Diane and i. he loves us. and you have taken that away from him. how could you deprive him of seeing 2 grandmas whom he loves? i know you and Diane had an argument, but why can't that remain between you and her? why are you depriving us from having him here.... baby, i don't understand.... you and your brothers have had arguments yet you will always be welcomed to come over to see them. it's not supposed to be like this. you are hurting me, honey.... and the time that is wasted keeping him from me, from us, can never be gotten back. there are problems in the other family too, you have said you do not even talk to a few members… yet they can still see him. its not fair… and he can still go there. oh. my. god. i am so heart broken. i will never be at peace whilst you keep him from me/us. i love you with all of my heart, but right now- i cannot believe how immature and selfish you are acting. i am SO hurt....

crp

8 comments:

SkylersDad said...

I am so sorry for you.

ChiTown Girl said...

I'm praying that your words get through....

otin said...

Family matters are never easy. There is no rhyme or reason for the way things go from bad to good and vice versa. It will come back around again!

Jason, as himself said...

I'm sad this is happening to you. This kind of stuff is so hard to deal with. I hope things resolve themselves soon. xoxoxo

Busy Bee Suz said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. Kids need to see their Grandmas! Grandma's are so important. I hope she changes her mind. soon.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

So sorry this is still going on. I hope she has a change of heart.

Clippy Mat said...

patience.
just let go and let God, as somebody said to me this week.
:-)

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