today was the day of the great solar eclipse....
is that anything like a total eclipse of the heart?
[turn around bright eyes...]
i would have to say, erm... no uh un.
all kinds of superstitious people in India
were doing foolish things like
washing themselves in the dirty Ganges river...
pouring different liquids into one glass...
making buffets upon buffets
of food to offer up to the sun god...
so i thought of a few things we could
be doing here, to assure the god of sun
doesn't come down and increase
the sizes of our already disgusting
cockroaches or something awful
like that, because we didn't
offer anything up.
1.) everyone should take just one sock
and place it in a huge pile
in a field for the sun god.
2.) old bras could be tied together
to see how long of a bra-rope
we could make...
[hey Granny, you got any of those
ole 67 triple F over the shoulder boulder
holders you ain't a usin, layin around?]
c.) we could collect pigeon droppings
in a huge barrel, add food coloring,
take it up in a small chopper and
drop it in times square
or somethin like that.
[call it painting by nature].
4.) what if we took all the yoyo's
in the country, wrote little scary
messages on each, and hung
them from the trees?
would that be freaky or what..
i know none of this makes sense.
its probably not even comical,
cuz shit, i ain't a laughin here...
but that's what happens when
you have a very magnetic person
and a solar eclipse half way
around the world. our polarized
carbonated footprints clash.
good thing the eclipses don't
come every day, eh?
close your eyes....
[dark, isn't it.]