"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.


many years ago when i was married and we had no children yet, my ex husband David and i were riding in the back of his mom and step dad's car, going to a town about an hour away to visit other family. it was winter in upstate new york, and there was at least 2 feet of snow on the ground, with alot of ice and snow on the roads. Eddie, that's the step dad, was a lunatic behind the wheel of a car. despite the road conditions, he would drive as fast as he normally did. we were going down this huge hill on a 2 lane back road, with a narrow one lane bridge at the bottom which was built over a river at least 100 feet below. we began to fishtail going down the hill in Eddie's big ass Chevrolet. we spun around and around as he lost control of the car, and i knew if we hit the guard rails on the bridge there was no way it was going to prevent us from going into the river. thank god no car was coming from the other direction as it was too slippery to stop. as we were spinning towards the bridge, i felt almost peaceful as i resigned to myself this was my moment to die. i was holding onto David, while my whole life flashed before me, in my mind. it must have only been seconds... but i relived and felt every single moment of my life up to that point. i don't know how that was possible but it happened. as i flashed through each moment, every one of my senses relived the memory, as if i were back in the original moment of time, doing that particular thing. as i got closer to as far back as i could remember, we crashed and i was slammed against the back of the front seat. when i came to my senses, i was expecting to be dead, but i was still alive. all Eddie was worried about was his car and if it had damages. we all got out of the car only to find the corner of the front bumper was against the corner of the guard rail. less than an inch either side, would have propelled us to the river below. we could not have survived such a fall. we were all in shock.... you had to see it to believe it, but the corner of the front bumper was exactly on the corner of that guardrail. the experience of my life flashing before me has always been with me, just as fresh as it occurred back then, and just as fresh as i remember it to be, all these years. i didn't see "a light" i don't even know if i left my body, but those flashbacks were real. it was incredible to have relived my whole life in those few seconds. SECONDS. memories i had totally forgotten about, replayed for me. and i was aware that i had forgotten about them as i was reliving them. the mind is so complex and unexplored, even with today's technology, i am sure we are not even close to uncovering everything it has the potential for. i have had lingering thoughts about that experience over the years, like why did i survive? how did that car line up so perfectly with the guard rail? why and how did my life flash before me? was my soul preparing to die in that car, or were the neurons in my brain firing at rapid speeds which made me have all those memory flash backs? i still don't understand it.... but i do believe god had his hand on us that day. over the years, still before we had our children, i had 2 more close brushes with death where i survived only by the grace of god. however, my life never flashed before me as it did that one time. has anyone else had a brush with death, and survived?


jo.irish.rose said...

tatoone, how did this post get way down here and how did i miss it? what the heck?

i remember this day!! i remember you telling me all about it, and i remember you taking me to it and showing me the bridge and everything where you landed and stuff. but i never heard all the details, if i did, i didnt remember them like this. i guess when your a kid, i was like 13 or 15 then, so it wasnt a big deal to me then. of course it is now. geez, what a kid i was back then. now look at me....i am embarrassed after the last post, help...i was on drugs...what can i say? jo

ChiTown Girl said...

Holy mother of God!! How did I miss this post!? How terrifying this must have been for you. I'm so glad you were able to walk away from it unharmed. Your guardian angels have been working overtime, that's for sure!!