"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.
...for those of us who end up in hilarious situations despite our intentions... i have an award for you, my bloggie friends. anyone can play. all you have to do is copy Lucy and write a blog entry of one of your "Lucy" moments. cuz i KNOW we have all had one. or two...
as i have mentioned before in a prior post, i took my 4 kiddos camping when they were little. on this particular weekend, we had our usual campfire dinner, walk, roasting of marshmallows, then hunkered down for the night in our lil pup tent that was made to sleep 2adults. somehow, the5of us fit in comfy cozy. we all fell fast asleep. towards morning, i awoke suddenly only to find we were in water... it was pouring rain outside and our lil tent had begun to fill with rainwater... we were actually floating down the hill we had pitched our tent on! the kids and i had to hurry&scurry to collect our belongings, get in the car and head for home. but not without all of us slippin and slidin in the mud. we all fell numerous times trying to get heavy wet blankets etc into the car. OMG it was just a fiasco....! we were all covered in mud from head to toe, and home was about an hour away. we finally got loaded up. i was driving on the interstate when i got a very did i say VERY pressing urge to go potty.... #2 that is. yeah. it was miles before a gas station, and i just couldn't wait.... so i pulled off the interstate, told the kids to stay put, and embarrassingly squatted next to the car in the pouring rain... suddenly there was a light. a flashlight. well, i who was taking a crap by the side of the car thought it was just one of my kids playing around with their flashlight. we all had one. so above the thunder and lightening noises, i screamed "put that flashlight away NOW! to which i then heard a deep male voice who asked me what i was doing. i looked up covered in mud, from my squatting position, only to gaze into a state trooper's astonished look as he realized i was taking a crap! he put his flashlight away, asked if i needed anything, to which i stupidly, reluctantly replied "toilet paper....." as in my haste i forgot to grab some. at that point i felt so sick i didn't care if he saw my bits or not.... i just wanted to be done and go home. Mr. Trooper knocked on the window of the car to find my3younger kids crying. they were quite the sight with dried mud all over them. my oldest son Nicholas handed him some napkins which he in turn gave to me... i was SO embarrassed i just wanted him to leave. cars were whizzing by. i felt like i was also gonna hurl... there was a state trooper literally on my ass, and i couldn't stop poopin. ...eventually i do cuz I'm writing this blog now... he remained behind me with his flashlight so i could see what i was doing. what a gentleman.
after explaining everything to Mr. Trooper, he laughed and let us go after i was safely back in the car. he didn't even charge me for littering.(the napkins). i can only imagine the stories he must have told to his buddies.
I'm a mother of 4, nurse, writer, poet, chef, and just a kid inside waiting to grow up.... I'm still searching for that one thing which will ease my longing for whatever it is. This "hole" in my soul drives me, cripples me, and sometimes lies dormant. I love my kids, my job, and wish I knew "then" what I know "now".
WORDS WILL NEVER HURT YOU, EH?
Oldies but Goodies
constipated people don't give a shit.
i like to eat out.... my girlfriend likes it too.
"And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one weak creature makes a void in any heart, so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up?"
i'm confused. no wait... maybe i'm not.
...stick figures ARE real, they told me so....
why the long face?
if men had their period they'd brag about the size of their tampons.
i'm on prozac, rogaine, and viagra. i'm happy, hairy, and horny.
pink is my flying color.
who lit the fuse on your tampon?
friends don't let friends stick crayons up their nose.
thank you chichi.
I'm getting a tatoo. Where?
Diane & I
you've put on weight..
how stick people became extinct.
that doesn't look anything like me...
"is it an... evil.... sheltie?
I told you to take a raincoat.
if money is the root of all evil, why do churches beg for it?
why are there no fat stickmen?
i may look safe, but as soon as i get you alone, i will eat you.
proud to be everything the right wing hates.
(if you can't hear me, it's because i am in parenthesis)
when i said "i'd hit that" i meant with my car.
sex on TV is great. (until i fall off)
RUN LITTLE STICK MAN, RUN...
i'm a hooker, too.
heineken. refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach.