..it's late, mate... no time for a date.
...me titties are dragging on the floor, I step on them at least twice a day.. I'm worried about this winter, they don't make boots fer tits, do they... in my lil perplexed mind, I can't figure out how they can justify making rubbers for penises, but not boots for tits... and don't they make butt plugs too?
double standards every where, innut?
hmmmm a dilemma.
I have NO energy lately. I am just dragging my ass around.. not my heart, Stevie & Tom... just my ass. and that is quite an accomplishment because I have NO ass. really, ask the wife.
the weekends go by too fast... in a blink or is that the wink of a dink...
Diane is asleep on the couch again.. if i had any strength I'd pull the couch onto the front lawn, those sprinklers come on @ 0500... bwahahahaha... oh she'd just kill me... I'd wake up dead for sure!
..she is just a grouchy carpet muncher in the morning, that is until she has her cuppa.. I can't even look at her without her growling and showing her teeth and that's when she's had a good dream..
~hey you crafty people out there~ some one knit me an over the shoulder stomach up holder, would ya? could ya?
gravity is NOT my friend.
..you know your life is fucked when you hear your pillow calling your name, except it's someone else's... cheatin' fluffy bastard. it looks so innocent laying there, so inviting, batting it's comeoniwannafuckyahard eyes, but it has a dirty lil secret.. yours in NOT the only head that has taken advantage of it's cool, soft, ever so dreamy resting place. and if'n ya don't believe me, just look under the bed. that's where the pillow hides the hairy evidence. they don't call 'em dust bunnies for nuttin'..
looksee, it's after 3 A. frikkin M. and I am still awake and loose and chasing a goose...
lol nah, I'm tired, some one, who is NOT wet from the sprinklers... please put me to bed..
on second and even third thought, fuck off-
I can find it meself.