1.) Make amends with your middle sister, specially after she sends you a touching email..
b.) Keep looking for killer work clothes at the Goodwill's, even if you are disheartened about the prospect of a good job coming along.. ya just might find a new Fossil purse for $0.99..
3.) Remember, God has his hand on you & everything will work out as it is supposed to. (even if you can't read his po-po-po-po-poker face).
3&1/2.) There IS a plan, you just gotta believe, be patient, and always wash your hands after using the bathroom. specially if you poop..
4.) Make sure you tell your big or little brother you love & miss him, EVEN if he lives in the equatorial region of Austin, TX. some days, ya just gotta get out of the hot kitchen, and cook your meals on the sidewalk..
e.) Love, I mean LERVE your pet with all of your heart. and make a game out of picking up it's poop.
6.) Treat everyone with kindness, even if they fart within your little circle of friends. well, it can't roam far..
7.) Hug. A LOT.
h.) Never ride on a motorcycle when you've got the trots, it won't be pretty.. (and you could get a ticket for trying to fill potholes with a hazardous substance).
9.) Do not let a slamming door smack your behind & make you yell out, there will always be an open window for you to explore..
j.) When the HR person from a big employer named Mandy who just might be dandy- calls to offer you a job, take the fucker- THEN change your undies.
If you mix all of these ingredients together, you will find yourself employed once again, after a dry run of no leads that were SO dry, you got rug burn on your ass, just from applying.
this recipe will serve as many people as are hungry for it.
I start Aug. 15th.
I will be a triage nurse for a call center.
THANK YOU, GOD!