"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.

7/18/2011

1056

my youngest sister has been here for nearly two weeks. that’s one reason I haven't been blogging, no time. the other is that I have been so stressed that my mind has been in a clutter. our sister Denise lives in Omaha. she has caused  a lot of stress on Jo and i. she works during the day m-f… thereby leaving her free time sparse. even so, we have tried to include her in everything we have done so far. she was mad at us because we went shopping without her, CUZ SHE WAS AT WORK. and it went on and on like that. then, Jo spends a 3 day weekend with her at her home, and guess what? no invites for me to join in all the reindeer games, ya know? I could lower myself to her level of immaturity and cause a scene, but I wont. I am SURE it makes Jo feel put in the middle and I’m sad about that. she wanted to see both of us, and do things together. Denise pulls this shit every freaking time Joanne visits. some times are worse than others, but she is very controlling and selfish. they went to 2 movies and a picnic this weekend, the Farmers market and shopping etc.. which I am fine with, but what really hurts me is that Denise is unfair. different rules for her according to what she wants. THAT is what upsets me. I want to do stuff with the three of us and when we do, it’s fun. but Denise is the middle child in our family and if we do one thing, ANYTHING, without her inclusion, there is hell to pay. I do love her, but I don’t like the games she plays. it almost feels like she is our mother and we need permission from her to do anything. she definitely has issues, as we all do, but she causes more drama and hurt feelings when Joanne visits (& other times too) and puts a damper on the fun memories we should be making. I understand WHY she is the way she is. but I don’t for a minute condone it. we have had her and her family over to eat often, but not once were we invited to her home for a family dinner whilst Jo is here. me, with NO job and little money, will always gladly share what meals I do have with anyone, as Diane and I love to have people over. not Denise, she is as selfish with her hospitality when it comes to my family, as she is with all her money. if I were to tell her how I really feel, there would be no end to it. so I just vent to Diane and leave it at that. as angry as I am at Denise, I cant bring myself to hurt her with how I really feel. because yes, it will hurt a lot. there are issues from many years ago that have never been addressed. of course I have tried to discuss some with her over the years, but she denies the reality of what was, placing herself in the “always right” position. it causes more harm than good, so if I were to confront her, I KNOW what will happen. why is there always one sibling like this in what seems like every family..?

aside from that palaver, I am ok. if one can be “ok” with all the drama.

this mama wants NO drama…

C

7 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

Ok, first? IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!! I was starting to think you two silly sisters ran away to the Bahamas or something. Second, I'm sorry Denise is being Denise. :(

otin said...

At some point you have to let the drama go. My mother has been complaining about her relationship with my brother and his family for twenty five years. Things are not gonna change, sad to say.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I was hoping you were having fun...since we did not hear from you.
Sorry the sis is causing problems again. I have no advice on this...since I have been an only child for over 20 years. Hopefully you can have some fun and NOT stress while Jo is still there.
xoxo

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I was wondering where you were, hoping you were having fun....sorry about all the drama. Some people just live for it.

greg said...

I hope you enjoy the rest of the time Jo is visiting - hopefully Denise will lay off a bit.

sophie...^5 said...

I guess ALL families do have a button pusher....I ignore them....simple...for me I guess...can't handle drama at all...so out they go with the wash!

Jim said...

Yes indeedy do! One way I cope with all the family DRAMA is not to talk about it....at all to anyone else. It will only continue the DRAMA to do so.