“Penis Growth Sample-Your love tool is set to thrill”
…erm, I got this in my email a few moments ago. it is one of a long line of penis lengthening emails that I have received.. my love tool is already set to thrill, and if I did happen to own a penis, I sure as hell wouldn’t be getting a “penis growth sample” from a stranger… so I have written them a letter as follows;
seriously, WTF is a penis growth sample AND where did you get it from? is it a few inches of a severed penis sent to me with a before and after picture? how would I know they were from the same man? you could of had 2 different men standing there, one with a tiny lil Vienna snausage and another with a zucchini that would put a donkey to shame. me thinks you’s be tryin’ to cheat me…
I also received an offer for “90 Viagra pills for only $359.00!” WTF? I am a female, genitalmen, a freaking FEMALE! I wonder though, if they would work if i plant‘em with the veggies, will they thicken and lengthen the plant stalks and grow fuller, plumper ‘maters? and what if the plant stalks stay hard too long… will I have to take them to the E.R. to get them drained? WTF, man…
finally, I keep getting offers on recalls for “hip implants”.. and if I can answer YES to any of these questions; “am I in pain? do i experience clicking, weakness, stiffness when i walk? have i fallen, had difficulties going up or down stairs or bending to sit?” then my hip implant MAY need replacing..
no, I think not.
I seriously think if I am having all of those problems it’s because my dick is too hard from the Viagra pills you sent me because my LERVE tool was set to thrill and it went a lil berserk… therefore, I am returning the penis growth sample as it has become necrotic and you sir, may stick what’s left of it in your spam-hole.
what was your address again?