"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.

4/22/2011

“Penis Growth Sample-Your love tool is set to thrill

…erm, I got this in my email a few moments ago. it is one of a long line of penis lengthening emails that I have received.. my love tool is already set to thrill, and if I did happen to own a penis, I sure as hell wouldn’t be getting a “penis growth sample” from a stranger… so I have written them a letter as follows;

dear genitalmen,

seriously, WTF is a penis growth sample AND where did you get it from? is it a few inches of a severed penis sent to me with a before and after picture? how would I know they were from the same man? you could of had 2 different men standing there, one with a tiny lil Vienna snausage and another with a zucchini that would put a donkey to shame. me thinks you’s be tryin’ to cheat me…

I also received an offer for “90 Viagra pills for only $359.00!” WTF? I am a female, genitalmen, a freaking FEMALE! I wonder though, if they would work if i plant‘em with the veggies, will they thicken and lengthen the plant stalks and grow fuller, plumper ‘maters? and what if the plant stalks stay hard too long… will I have to take them to the E.R. to get them drained? WTF, man…

finally, I keep getting offers on recalls for “hip implants”.. and if I can answer YES to any of these questions;  “am I in pain? do i experience clicking, weakness, stiffness when i walk? have i fallen, had difficulties going up or down stairs or bending to sit?” then my hip implant MAY need replacing..

no, I think not.

I seriously think if I am having all of those problems it’s because my dick is too hard from the Viagra pills you sent me because my LERVE tool was set to thrill and it went a lil berserk… therefore, I am returning the penis growth sample as it has become necrotic and you sir, may stick what’s left of it in your spam-hole.

signed,

Lorena Boobitts.

P.S.

what was your address again?

C

 

3 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

Girl, you so crazy!

Busy Bee Suz said...

That (and YOU) are so silly.
I keep getting emails about "senior dating" services? HUH??? Why would I want to date a senior?

jo.irish.rose said...

di, you neeeeed to keep her off the caffiene for #1, #2, you also need to make sure she takes her meds on time....i don't think she is right up there, ya know? #3, don't let her play with the computer any more....she has too much time on her hands....and #4, her sleep is off....that might be her problem too. and finally....SLAP HER FOR ME, WOULD YA??? LOL just kidding really, she is just being her usual goofy self. (you can still slap her for me though!) what a buck she is!! genital-man!! lmao!! only my sister!!!