"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.

4/28/2011

Diane and I love to watch “Searching…” it’s a weekly show about a lady named Pam Slaten who helps people either find a child they once relinquished for adoption, or find a family member they have been separated from, usually through adoption. Pam is an adoptee herself, and searched for her birth mom, who wanted nothing to do with her. the rejection and pain she felt from that is what motivates and drives her to help others like her. I think she heals a tiny bit from her own pain, every time she successfully reunites family members. the true stories each week make us cry, they are each heartwarming/painful/joyous/sad… but always emotional in some way. and I can personally relate to this show [and the other one with Troy Dunn called “The Locator”], because David and I adopted our 2 oldest children, 3 years apart. Nicholas and Emily were 3 days old when we picked them up in 1984 & 1987 @ the Nebraska Children’s Home Society. at Christmas time in 2007, Nicholas contacted his birth mom Terri, and through the following year we all became a new blended family. it was a very joyous, fulfilling, and emotional process on both sides. I always knew in my heart I would meet the woman who gave me the gift to be a mother, and it came true. I only wish I could have met Emily's birth mom, too- but she has not wanted to pursue anything even with Emily. it makes me sad for my daughter, although she says she doesn’t care, I know somewhere in her heart she does, as did Nicholas. it turns out that family dynamics can be as complicated as trying to read Chinese when you don’t know it.

so for me, this is why these two shows personally touch my heart. it is unbelievable what some people who have been adopted, hold in their hearts their entire lives, without knowing the truth. some stories just blow me away with the anger, fear, shame, and assumed hatred some live with, simply because they don’t know the truth. I guess it’s easier to assume things rather than accept that you were unwanted. but that isn't always the truth. every situation is different and there are so many reasons for giving a baby up for adoption. it is almost ALWAYS done out of love for the baby, for wanting the baby to have what the birth mom cannot give at the time. I know I am incapable of relinquishing a child of mine. but I hold the belief that doing so is the greatest gift of love one can give. I have been blessed to receive it not once, but twice! then I became pregnant out of the blue after 17 years of infertility, twice in less than a year… which created Alexander & Christopher. having become a parent via both ways, I can honestly tell you that I love them all the same. it never has mattered to me how they came to be my kids, I just am SO thankful they did. and I have never felt anything except that I have 4 wonderful kids whom I would lay my life down for, in a heartbeat. Nicholas will always be my firstborn, Emily will always be my only daughter, Alex will always be my first birth experience, and Christopher will always be my youngest. each have wonderful talents and qualities that reinforce in my heart, they were meant to be my children..

when Emily gave birth to Julian, their only child, the first thought that came to my mind was that this is the first time she is meeting someone with her same blood and DNA. to finally have someone resemble her in characteristics and appearances must mean so much to her. it is all she will probably ever have as a part of her biological self and history. it is something we take for granted, that is always in the back of our minds until something makes us stop and think about it.. this is reiterated in story after story in these shows. in one of the episodes a woman was looking for her birthmother who gave her and her brother up for adoption as babies. with Pam’s help, she was able to locate her birth family, [her two birthparents eventually married and had 2 more boys] but her mom is deceased. she has 2 full bio brothers.. and the woman looks SO much like her birth mom and has many same characteristics that it brings their mom back to them in a sense, through her, which they find comforting. that’s just one example of so many. anyone out there have any experiences with adoption?

Nicholas & Emily & David

IMG_0017

IMG_0016

our time this week with my grandson has been very nice. he is just SO cute and says the cutest things… we love him SO much. look how goofy he is, he made this..

002

coloring eggs on Easter.. 

011

018

 

and his parents are having a wonderful time in Costa Rica. today they went on a zip line through the forest.. tomorrow they are white water rafting. it’s 100 degrees with 100% humidity there. summer, COME ON DOWN!!!

C

6 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

I'm SO glad you're getting this time with your little Jujube!

greg said...

Thank you for sharing this with us - I love reading about your family history.

My good friend adopted her son (now 2 years old) and she is very close with his birth mother. She says she always wants her son to be have a tight relationship with his birth mother and she even travels to TN (from NY) a couple of times a year to make sure they get time together. It's inspiring.

jo.irish.rose said...

i adopted my morgan...but i dont think its the same....i tried to meet her birth mother and father...no luck tho...people are sooo mean....i just wanted to see her parents....to see how cute a puppy she was! geesh!!! i adopted her when she was 2, i wanted to see her puppy pics....thats all.

Technodoll said...

Oh what a cutie patootie your grandson is, look at that smiling faaaace! :-D

Maria said...

I am already addicted to American Idol. If I add any more shows to my roster, I will have butt imprints indelible on my sofa....

Busy Bee Suz said...

I adopted Ozzie and gave birth to Cocoa. I love them the same too. :)
In all seriousness, we have a few members in our family who have been adopted....love is love and family is family.
I would like to send a few peeps out to be adopted though...can you do that to adults?
Love those photos C!!
xoxoxox