"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.

11/09/2010

I cant shake the weepies tonight. I tried. and now, I’m up alone and the old “ache” in my soul is back. it feels like I am longing desperately for something but I have not ever been able to identify what it is I am longing for…

I can feel it manifest itself physically, as I have pain in the center of my chest that aches deep inside. some one I used to date named Lois was native American, and we dated for over 3 years. when I felt this way, she’d have me lay down then proceeded to rub and massage in circles in the center of my chest..

she said it was my chakra, and she would soothe it, and realign it somehow just by gentle touching and pulling out invisible “stuff” that she said was causing me the pain. I’d close my eyes and relax, listening to the music of the Indian flute playing softly whilst she did this..

the whole process would last about 30-60 mins. I could actually feel something electrically tingly being pulled from me… possibly an energy of some kind. when she was done, the pain was gone. for that reason only, I wish she were in my life to come over and work her magic…

native Americans are very spiritual people, at least most of them are.. and I truly believe they can get in touch with something spiritual because every time she did this, my pain would be gone.

alas, there's nothing I can do tonight but feel what I feel, and go to bed to try to sleep, hoping it’s gone when I wake up.

C

6 comments:

otin said...

I think that our minds create our pain and that if we put our lives in perspective and compare it to those who have far less than us, then we can realize that maybe we really are okay with things.

Clippy Mat said...

C: Maybe it's a reaction to all of the changes you've gone thru in your life recently and having to change jobs and career at this stage can't be easy. Just let it out. Hugs :-)

ChiTown Girl said...

I agree with Clippy. Just let it out. Sometimes I just gotta crawl into bed, and cry my heart out. It's usually pretty cathartic. Sometimes, I just cry so hard/much, I fall asleep from sheer exhaustion. But, when I wake up, I sort of feel 'cleansed.' I know, I'm weird.

Stud's grandfather decided years ago that he had Apache ancestry, which I suppose means Stud is part Apache. I'd be more than happy to send him to you. I don't know if he can realign your chakra, but he could definitely crack you up. Maybe you'd laugh so hard, your chakra will realign itself!

Ok, now in all seriousness, I hope this passes sooner rather than later. I don't like knowing my friend is weepy and feeling down. Especially when all I can do is keep sending {{{hugs}}} when I'd rather give you real ones. :(

greg said...

First of all, Happy Belated Birthday! It's really heart-warming to see how many people love and celebrate you.

I guess you know best how life is all about ups and downs and there's no better time for both of those to collide than during a birthday - especially a significant one. Take the time to reflect and feel and mourn, even when you're not sure what it is that's causing you sadness. Let it out and know that an "up" is right around the corner.

Jabacue said...

You are probably doing the right thing by 'looking' at it straight in the face and accepting that it is happening, right now. Doesn't make you feel better, but it's better than 'running' and ignoring it.
And, it won't last forever....that's a good thing.
Now, teach someone what your ex used to do to make you feel better.
Jim

jo.irish.rose said...

TOONE! poor lil fluff ball! have diane massage you, even ifn it doesnt work, just know you "made" her do something....that should make you smile. and you will get a nice massage out of it. if i was there, we would fix dat dumb ole weepy crap. we would watch a good funny movie, eat, drink and beat mary!

i don't know...im not a psycho, but in my umble opinion....i think you need a trip. you haven't been on one in what, like a month or two? see? its time for anudde one. come over, i will take care of you. k? c'mon...