i was sitting at Walgreens earlier tonight as my son ran in to get a few things. after a few moments i saw some teen girls running down the isles and my mind took off into what it does... i began to
put a story together in my mind imagine that there was a shooter in the store, and everyone was running for cover. then i began laughing planning how i would get my son out and from there, how i would get away. suddenly i thought about what if the shooter came out and he was neked, saw me sitting in my running vehicle and tried to flash me take it to get away... so then i imagined my escape route and running his ass over neked or not and before i knew it i had pissed scared myself to the point that i jumped when my son knocked on the door to get in.
i do this kind of thing
all the time every now and then while waiting for someone, or stopped at a traffic light... or sitting on the table waiting for the doctor to come in... does anyone else ever feel delusional do this? i know it's crazy and i don't know why i do it... just that i do.
i think it has to do with my
addiction to watching the news and hearing about horrible things like this really happening. i need to start watching reruns of I LOVE LUCY or THE FLINTSTONES or TAXI CAB CONFESSIONS rather than the news. i want to stay current with the fucked up state of the world yet it's all negative crap that obviously permeates other parts of my life....
my oldest son and his partner broke up last night. they are going to try to remain friends, but Diane and i are very sad about it as we loved his partner as part of
our crazy the family. i think we are taking it harder than they are, actually. so today Diane helped my son move all of his belongings back home for storage, and he will live with us forever i hope until he finds a place of his own. on one hand cuz i do have two it's great having my three sons home, even though i know it won't be for long. yet on the other hand the one i told you about i HATE break ups, even if it's for the best.. i have always hated break ups for myself and my family. so my heart has been like heavy whipping cream today with sadness.
i went to get my
psych medications refilled today and found out i have no insurance coverage! isn't THAT special. i am going to call my WC caseworker on Monday to see what she can do. this is how i see it- i fell and broke my arm at work on the job. because of that, i have been unable to return to work. because of that, they have cancelled my health insurance and dental plan, and cashed out my PTO's. now i am really really fucked insurance less and it feels like i have been terminated although they keep saying i haven't been. WTF? isn't all of this related to my injury? apparently what they have done is legal according to their policies but that doesn't make it right.
speaking of sex, it feels like this post is all over the place jumping from topic to topic. that is how i feel at the moment.. flighty. overwhelmed.
who said that?
well peeps i think i am done bitchin for tonight. i do appreciate the
but i refuse to leave you with my negativity so i will leave you with
porn something cute, instead.