"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.

8/28/2009

it's my party and i can whine if i want to...


i would like to invite you to my lil pity party, being that it's Friday and all.... yep. i am having a grand ole pity party with an open invite to any other parent that feels unappreciated by their kids. for appetizers, i will be serving platters of chocolate dipped hurt feelings, accompanied by feeling useless fritters, and the main course will consist of swallowing your pride, grilled or fried. for dessert we can munch on they don't need me cookies and fresh from the heart brownies. for drinks we will have don't know much martinis.... shaken, not stirred. there will be a DJ taking requests for good ole country songs written for the down trodden.... such as "i tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen" and "i told you so 2 years ago, slick"
there should be a good time to have by all..
why are we celebrating, you ask? oh, lemme tell ya, i will... there are times i try to advise my kids on major decisions based on my own experiences, trials, and errors, ya know, like any good parent would do... my intentions are true. i only wanna spare them some possible pain, and poor decision making. i want to guide them like the delicate little pretzels they are. whats wrong with that, i ask you. yet i realize the older they get, the less they want to accept advise from MOI, the one who loves them more than anyone else in the world EVAH will and the one who used to change their poopy diapers and let them live beyond the terrible two's. when they were younger, they looked up to me like i was mother Theresa for Pete's sake! i could do no wrong in their eyes. and what i said mattered to them more than what anyone else said. and it almost always turned out that i was right when i advised them. the 4 times i was wrong i admitted it, and together we tried to figure out another avenue. but now its "mom, you don't know what you're talking about." WTF?. [i didn't of course say that to them but i was thinking it]. it really hurt my feelings as it seems like overnight i am no longer considered a useful resource..... no longer the well of knowledge that could answer any questions they threw at me, like, erm- mommy, where did that man's hair go? and intelligent stuff like that. when do kids turn from little trusting angels to self centered know-it-alls who tell their moms "you don't know what you're talking about!" ... slap me in public why doncha. or throw me down the stairs and call me slinky.... because lately, that's what it seems like they have become. self centered know-it-alls. i try to explain how they are making me feel when they say that, and i try to explain that i too, didn't think my mother knew anything EVAH [well, she really didn't] ... but none of that matters, they roll their eyes. THEY ROLL THEIR EYES, MIND YOU! ugh. ohmygod. i am in parental shock over that one! so, rather than be talking to 2 brick walls over and over again... i have decided all i can do is say what i need to say as i feel its my responsibility as their mom to attempt to guide them in the right direction. because they are my precious babies and i love them so much. and then let the lil darlings do it their way and see how it turns out for them. i do not in any aspect wish to imply i wish them harm, hell to the NO, i just mean i need to let go, let god, let them do it their way and hope they don't fuck up. for example, my son Alex starts college again next week, [he took a few courses over the summer...] he thinks he can work from 8am to 1pm, then go to class from 2pm to 10pm.... i tried to tell him it is too much but what do i know... I've only lived for 53 years and he has the life experience of 18. so, i told him go ahead and do it your own way... i hope you find you can get enough rest, have time for studying, and keep your grades up. "i will mom! i will! trust me." then my youngest son, the musical genius, has announced plans to go to a well known college on the east coast for music, after he graduates. 1.) he doesn't have a bassoon, has been using the school's and b.) unless he gets offered a full ride, how is he going to get there, let alone pay for it and have enough to live on...? i cannot help him financially, there is no one in our family that can help him financially. so i suggested he start here at the local university and then see what happens from there. ohhhhh nooooo that wont do, he says. he's going and nothing will stop him, he says. OK. i will be looking forward to seeing where he gets his money to do so. [little does he know i was thinking of emailing Ellen and asking her to help him, as she does so many good things for kids... but what are the odds...]. it's not that i don't want him to go, it breaks my heart that i cant afford to pay for my kid's colleges. but i just cant. i cant. i. c.a.n n.o.t. i guess i expected them to be understanding and have a leave it to beaver attitude of
..."awww mom, you have done so well raising us, and you made ends meet despite the lack of money, you raised us all on your own, while putting yourself through college, and you slaved over hot stoves to feed us, rubbed your fingers raw doing our laundry, and went without so we could have.... you took a bullet for us, you got hit by a mack truck as you pushed us out of the way, and how many times did you bail us out of library fines because we were too lazy to return the books... now that we are nearly grown, we just want to say how proud we are of you- how much we appreciate all you have done for us- we love you, you are our hero, and it's OK that you cant pay for our college."
is that asking too much? i want them to place the golden crown of achievement upon my lil head with a kiss on each cheek but all i get is "i want this.... i am going to do that... oh and mom? you don't know anything....."
TEENAGERS....
cant live with 'em, cant live without 'em [cuz they'll put you in jail for that]. i just cant believe these 2 boys that always had such good manners and were polite, whom i breastfed until my nipples fell off for Pete's sake, have turned into self centered know-it-alls. hey, maybe they don't even NEED college because they already know it all. where did these boys really come from? who took my real kids and replaced them with these? have i been visited by aliens? geeeeeeeeeez.
now i feel guilty for having dogged them out like this.
naaaahhh, let's party anyway...
someone pass those feeling useless fritters with the foot-in-the-mouth dip, will ya....


crp



5 comments:

Busy Bee Suz said...

I think they HAVE to go through this self centered stage in life. It is the law. The coach and I talk about this all the time too, as he and I both went through a bit of this type of behavior. When we are kids, the parents are perfect, they can do no wrong. Then as teens our parents are idiots and know nothing. THen again, when we are about 25, we realized that our parents were right about most things in life. The boys will come around. Let them find out these things on their own.
Don't fret over the college thing, most parents can't afford it these days. As a kid, college was NEVER discused in my family. NEVER. At least your boys want to go...and they will. :)



Your nipples fell off? ewww.

Chloie said...

Most teenagers go through this phase. I did too, even though I loved my parents to death. Don't worry though, they will realize later that you're right and things will be fine. But sometimes I do believe that it is good for kids to go through this phase. How else are they gonna learn if they don't fail or realize the error of their thinking? You can still be there to guide and love them. I'm sure they'll appreciate later all the things you do for them. It's all part of the learning process.

ChiTown Girl said...

Aw, sista, I'll be right over to whip up the martinis. You KNOW they're my specialty, right? ;-)

Seriously, I think one of the reason CSJ and I have been getting along so well lately is that it's suddenly become us against Stud. He thinks we're BOTH stupid!!! Hang in there, it's GOT to get better!

Clippy Mat said...

KIDS!
they are a life long learning experience.
for US!
i'll have one of chi-chi's martinis.
:-)

Technodoll said...

I hate to say it but... that's why I never had and never want kids!

(( hugs ))