"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.


all we are is dust in the wind....

my son and his friend had dinner with us tonight. my sister came over, also. after dinner, we all watched a movie called "ghost town".... it's a comedy with English comedian Ricky Gervais, Tea Leoni & Greg Kinear in it. what a wonderfully funny, touching movie! if you haven't seen it, i recommend it highly. now everyone is asleep and the house is quiet. i think i had too much coffee because i am a bit jittery and not sleepy in the least. since i am a night owl and have always worked nights, i am used to being up late like this.
i have been thinking about the future..... [probably due to the type of movies i have seen recently.] there have been many documentaries about the Mayan calender ending on December 21, 2012. the world as we know it, is supposed to end. that has been said through the ages, i know.... but this time, too many prophets and scientific references to astronomy have resulted in the same data. the Mayans were so ahead of their time pertaining to devices and tools they had developed in their day..... some of which remain mysterious and unfathomable even today. i find it so interesting, in fact, that whenever the discovery channel has a program about any of this stuff, i always try to catch it. if there is no truth to it, how can it be explained how so many independent investigations, scientific revelations with true archived facts, and predictions from non-related prophets all lead to the same conclusion? that's precisely why it seems different to me this time..... too many coincidences. or are they? yes, i am a christian and have my faith based beliefs... i also have enough of an open mind to allow for science and the factual evidence it presents. i guess no one will know until the day comes. however, it lurks in the back of my mind and on occasion reminds me that my own mortality is not in my control. we are supposed to live every day as if it were our last. i have not done that consistently in my lifetime. not even close. i am guilty of discarding the importance of harsh words left unforgiven, and turning inward thereby isolating myself from those i love the most. i have tempted maybe even dared fate by putting off the forgiveness and communication that i should have done without hesitation. i am guilty of not speaking to the one i have been angry or hurt with, until i was ready....even if it took days. if the incident would have turned out to be the last words spoken, i would have never forgiven myself for the rest of my life. so why then, did i take so many chances with the roulette.... betting foolishly against fate and daring it to make me lose.... even as i write this, my flesh cringes with what the outcomes could have been for me, too many times. i think i have taken time for granted, wasting away the hours pouting like the 2 year old little girl i once was. how tragic is it when i have let pride rule my heart, rather than common sense and love. as the song says... "time is on my side, yes it is"... the truth is time will one day run out... and NO ONE knows when that day will be. i need to really process the implications of what i just wrote... i don't want to tempt fate and waste anymore time, with the ones who mean the most to me.


Busy Bee Suz said...

My Reply:
You have had too much coffee and too many movies.

I did not know the world was going to end in 2012. I suppose I will cut back on the dieting and housework. It will be for nothing. :)

SkylersDad said...

Wish I knew when the world was going to end for sure, I would plan better!

ChiTown Girl said...

2012 used to sound like an impossibly long time away. But, now I see 2012 all the time because that's the year Stud will graduate (so it's on all his stuff for school). I know it's going to be here in the blink of an eye. I have no idea what the future holds, but I know I need to start living more in the moment, and try to let go of more stress. Thanks for the kick in the pants! :)

jo.irish.rose said...

toone, wow, i guess you did have alot of caffeine! lol! yep, we don't know when our time is up but we do what we can with our time. and i feel that it is best spent working out the kinks that made it all rough to start with. serving others, loving them, keeping family close, remembering good not bad, living each day to the fullest. we don't know what tomorrow holds, BUT we know WHO hold tomorrow. i love you toone. you are such a smart little girl. and cute too. jo

Technodoll said...

I've seen that movie, it was ok. Love Ricky Gervais but they kinda killed his character when they made him all mooshy.

I think that deep down, humans love to scare themselves with doom and gloom... in the meantime, what else is there to do but live our lives in the now? :-)

Jason, as himself said...

Thought provoking post!

Clippy Mat said...

love ricky gervais. he's the best.
loved your post.
i predict the world will not end on whatever date you said in 2012. that's bull**it. sorry. :-)
hey,it might end tomorrow for all we know, so yes, we have to live each day like it's the last.
but do we?
i know i don't.
but like you i examine my wrongs from time to time and it hopefully makes me think twice before i do something the next time.
it's called learning from your mistakes.
so that's all we can do.
it's knowing how pathetic we are and still getting up in the morning--that's what's hard.

i love your heartfelt self analyzing.
but don't beat yourself up.
cut back on the caffeine at night.
pat/clippy :-))