i was remembering when my kiddos were little, and i took them camping early one fall. it was just the 4 of them, and me. i was trying to recapture how i felt at the time, as this particular memory was the first time we ever went camping. i did all the packing & planning for food and necessities to last us the 4 days we would be there. i chose a state park in our area, which offered electrical hookups right there at the campsite. i brought their Nintendo/games, and a small TV to play it on. all we had to sleep in was a small pup tent that was only meant for 2 adults, yet we all fit nice and comfy cozy. our days were spent exploring the grounds, having breakfast in the lodge, hiking, climbing the tower, miniature golfing, petting the horses, and having a picnic lunch where ever we went that day. a lot of walking, talking, chasing, and fun. going for a spooky walk in the dark, with our flash lights. we had dinner around the campfire every evening, and toasted marshmallows. then it was time to snuggle up in our blankets in the tent, and watch the 2 older kids play Nintendo until we were tired. I'd zip us into the tent, and we'd talk, laugh, tell scary stories, and snuggle. the kids would fall asleep first, and i lay awake quietly thanking god for this time with them. i watched them sleep, and felt so fulfilled, cozy, and satisfied. i memorized that feeling of
contentment as if i would never feel it again.
tonight, i sit here and bring forth those memories to comfort myself. things are not going well for me right now. my injury, the pain, my money situation, my daughter, and after another brutal argument this afternoon that whole palaver with her now includes one of my sons. so i really need to feel some kind of comfort, draw from my well of love and good memories, let it embrace me, and fill me with the oh so wonderful times we used to have together when they were little. i would give anything right now, to experience another family night of togetherness when they were little, when all we had was each other, and it was enough.