.....Christmas, Christmas time is near,
time for joy and time for cheer,
we've been good so please don't pass...
hurry Christmas, hurry fast.....
i want a plane that loops and loops..
me, i want a hula hoop.....
when i was a little girl, that was my favorite
Christmas song. i knew it by heart,
and i felt the Christmas spirit
fill me up because of it.
the magic i felt when i still thought there
was a Santa, is what made it special to me.
one late night on Christmas eve,
i woke up suddenly to some noise i
heard downstairs. so like any little kid would do,
i snuck down onto the stairs to see what
was happening..... i saw in disbelief
that my parents were putting
wrapped presents under the tree-
i just couldn't believe my eyes...
i immediately filled up with such
disappointment that i felt like my heart
would explode in pain. i ran crying
back to my bed.... of course my parents
came right up in an attempt to comfort me
but all i could say through my tears was
"you lied to me" "i hate you"
and other things along those lines.
i don't remember much after that.
but i do however remember how crushed
and betrayed i felt inside.
i must have been 4 or 5 years old.
consequently, when we became parents,
David and i vowed to always be honest
with the kids. and so we were.
we told them the story of Saint Nicholas
having such a big heart back in
the old days, that he went around leaving presents
for the children in orphanages, as they had nothing.
and he did this on the night that Jesus was born,
to celebrate his birth. so every Christmas,
we made Jesus a birthday cake,
a birthday card, sang him happy birthday,
and gave gifts in his honor.
eventually we incorporated how the story
evolved into what it is today. that seemed
to work for us, but i got alot of flack from friends
and family through the years because of
course it conflicted the standard "Santa/Reindeer"
philosophy that most people promote today...
as i say that, i guess i just realized that i have
pretty much gone against the grain on most
things in my life. my kids have had to endure
my sometimes "unique" (OK, OK, weird)
parenting techniques and i don't know if i ruined
anything for them in doing so.
i was just trying to save them from
the crushing betrayal i felt when i
found out there was no Santa,
but in doing so, did i rob them of
believing in magic, even for just a little while...?
i haven't even started to do my shopping yet,
so as soon as my back is better, i will have to shop
like a wild woman....sorta like Wilma Flintstone
when her and Betty Rubble go shopping and yell,
CHARGE IT! CHARGE IT!
yep. i will be like Wilma and Diane can be like Betty.
(just as long as we don't have to kiss Fred and Barney...heehee)
whatever your beliefs are,
may this season bring you love, joy,
happiness, good health, and peace.
...and here's to a safe shopping season.