"...wE mUst bE thE chAnGe wE wiSh tO sEE iN thE wOrld..." K.G.


actions speak louder than words.

there is alot of anger and hype at the moment over same sex marriages. i have been in a relationship with my partner Diane, for the last 9 years. i would like to shed a little light on the subject, in the form of my opinion which, when i think about it, only matters to myself.
nevertheless, i feel the need......
the other day, coming out of my 2 sons high school parking lot after picking them up, we saw a middle aged man standing across the street holding up a sign for all the high schoolers, parents, siblings etc.... to see as they drove by. the sign said; "GAY. GOD SAYS IT'S A SIN." my initial reaction was anger. it was so unexpected, i almost didn't believe what i was seeing. here we were asking the kids how their day went, talking about what we will have for dinner then suddenly BOOM there is this man and his sign. i had mixed feelings about it, as my 2 sons immediately became defensive on my behalf and wanted to shout something out to him as we drove past. i told them not to, as this man has a right to his opinion, just as we do ours... even though i was seething inside, i was trying to use this situation as a learning tool in humility. my sons were obviously upset and it took Diane and i all the way home to convince them it wasn't the right thing to do, and why. many people feel same sex relationships are wrong, and who am i to deny them the right to believe that way. where i have a problem with it, is when they cross the line and start pointing fingers in attempts to shame us, who are gay. as if life isn't difficult enough living that life style, we don't need a pot stirring narrow minded person trying to cause trouble. and of all places, a HIGH SCHOOL? certainly there are teenagers attending who might be questioning their sexual orientation at this point in their lives... they don't need to have fuel added to their fire. they already have many barriers to overcome.... and many will opt to hide that revelation about themselves because they fear their own family will abandon them. this man with his sign could easily escalate and/or promote more hate crimes, ridicule, and peer pressure. it's clear to me that his priority in this public display is all about himself and his opinion.... he thinks he is god's messenger.... he isn't taking into consideration what the sign might do to even one teen who is questioning him/herself. and that's where i have the problem. what if one struggling teen decides to end their life because this sign is the last straw to their personal struggle? how would this man feel if the teen were his own child? DON'T TRY TO IMPOSE WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS RIGHT, ONTO ME, specially when you don't know me. i have just as much of a right to live my life out the way it suits me, as you do. often, i will hear people say.."you can change yourself if you want to.." and it just makes me sad. being gay isn't a choice.... who in their right mind would EVER choose to live an alternative lifestyle that comes with so much negativity and judgementalism, just for shits and giggles....? the only "choice" a gay person has, is whether we choose to live our truth or deny it. that's where "choice" comes in. for me, i choose to live my truth.
i don't want to live a lie.
now California has taken back it's decision to legalize same sex marriages. good old "prop 8" is just wrong. humanly wrong and unfair.
how many people that will affect, is unknown. Diane and i are married to each other in our hearts and no one can take that away. we are spiritually bonded to each other. same sex relationships seem to be judged solely by the couple having sex together. what people don't understand is, it is not about the sex act. it's all about feeling loved, respected, being with your best friend, feeling like you belong together, feeling understood, knowing that you want to live the rest of your life together, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do you part. how does that differ from a male/female marriage? it doesn't. both sides want the same thing.....TO BE LOVED AND TO BE HAPPY. the problem is, straight couples have civil rights that gay couples do not. gay couples cannot provide health insurance or tax deductions or claim their partner legally in any of the ways a straight couple can.... and it shouldn't be separated out like that. whom we have SEX with has absolutely no bearing on our civil rights. just as being Jewish or Catholic or white or black or young or old or republican or democrat, doesn't. we are people entitled to the same rights you are. to give some people all the American rights, and deny the same American rights to people who do not live up to the majorities requirements of what is acceptable or not... is so fucking wrong. yet those same people expect us to pay our taxes on time and hold up our end of responsibilities as all Americans must. i am not a lesbian trying to make my way in this world. i am a woman struggling to survive and make the best life for myself and my family, WHO HAPPENS TO BE GAY. that is the difference. when i fell in love with Diane, i fell in love with her soul, and how alive i felt because of her. i know it sounds very "Jerry McGuire" but with her i feel completed... like i am the best i can be, because of her. sex is only an extension of that love, it is not the reason for that love. so why am i condemned for that? why is it wrong for me to feel everything you might feel, to believe in god and Jesus just like you do, to bleed red blood just as you do, and to have the same aspirations and hopes for the future as you do? well it's NOT wrong. we are not wrong. you just think we are. and my final punch in the gut opinion is this; god made me. he knew from the very start who i was meant to be, and everything i have lived through up to this point of my life, both good and bad, is what it took to get me here, at this moment. unless you kill me, you cannot change me. oh but wait, many have already gone to that length, haven't they.... so many gay bashing and killings....missions ordered and completed for god. what will you say when you see god's face on judgement day...? hey god, i tortured and killed that so and so, just for you... and god will reply, but why did you kill one of my children? you will reply, i did it for you, god, that person was gay. or that person was black. or that person was a Jew. or that person was Korean. or that person was Muslim. what will you say in self defence as you observe tears rolling down his beautiful face as you realise what you have done....? think about that. people who are gay are not less of a human being than anyone else. we are all his children. and you aren't god. i don't think he would approve of the pain and fear you cause us, hiding behind his name, and "doing it" because you are a christian. i am a christian and i would never hurt you on purpose.
NEVER. grow up. get with the program. focus on your own life. get on the peace train. give peace a chance. let god decide what is an abomination. civil rights have been protected through the ages, with the ultimate sacrifices.... someones own life. who the fuck are you to deny me the same rights you have?


ChiTown Girl said...

That was beautiful. I won't get up on my soap box, since actually, I don't need to. You've said it all already. I'm sorry that there are still ignorant people in the world who, for some reason, don't view you as their equal. Somehow, in their little tiny minds, they see you as some sort of second class citizen, who isn't entitled to equal rights when it comes to who you love and choose to spend your life with, as if it's their business. As if it takes something away from THEM. OK, I said I wasn't getting on my soap box, so I'm done. But, know that I'm with you in spirit.

C said...

hey chi, thank you again for the support. people are SO ignorant sometimes. ya know, even if i weren't gay, i would still feel this way, i would still support this, and i would still fight for the underdog. i see on the news today that thousands of people are gathering in protests to overturn prop 8. one day we will all be treated as equals. that is my hope and prayer for gays, blacks, and any other minorities.
take care, hon, and enjoy every day.


Anonymous said...

very heart felt .
I am glad I live in a country where our toleration seems to be at a higher level Never do we want to go back to the dark ages in terms of same sex couples .
I went to a same sex marriage recently and it was wonderful ,you could see the love in there eyes for each other and I hope they have a long and fruitful marriage and they are great friends.

LesbianRamblings said...

I live in Canada so we already have these human rights and they are very staunchly defended by gay and str8 alike. Human rights are just that,,,for humans. I have many American friends and my heart weeps for the struggles that are for things that are life-related. To us up here it makes so little sense to not be free to love and have the liberty to just plain old marry your moved one. I went to a few of my friends weddings this year and also helped celebrate Cody, a wee son born to my friend Alana and tracey and I am awaiting the arrival of Oliver a soon-to-be-son for my friend Kathryn and Joanne, married since 2003. We call this our gayby boom!! I sure do hope one day your lives can be lived in such freedoms. I enjoyed your post. Thanks for your courage.


C said...

hey jax.... wow, a gayby boom? that is just so awesome, i like it, I LIKE IT!!! never ever heard that before. very clever. my partner and i have been waiting 9 long years for the right to marry, but ya know, we still feel married.. the thing we want the most is the law to be on our side so i can put her on my insurance and claim her on my income tax... stuff like that, n'est pas?
are you allowed those privilages in canada? i have family in montreal and quebec city... maybe we should just move there!
thanks for visiting, hope you come back... god bless... :)


Crazy Mo said...

Some people just don't get it, C. Kudos to you for setting an example for your kids and taking the high road. I believe what goes around comes around. He'll get his comeuppance. Just wait and see.